Letters

During the bouts of cancer diagnosis and treatments, Rachel writes e-mails to keep her friends and family updated on her thoughts and spiritual walk.

Postponed again

September 22, 2004

My counts are too low. Again.

 

My white blood cell count is 0.4 today. Nothing is wrong. 90% of people recover in time for treatment but I happen to fall into the 5% of people whose bone marrow takes longer to recover. With the odds I keep getting, I have GOT to get myself to Vegas.

 

So I’m delayed until next Tuesday for chemo. I have an MRI on Tuesday morning so that’s why we have to wait as it would be a pretty ugly scene if I was to lose it while strapped into a multi-million dollar machine.

 

And they’re going to hospitalize me for the treatment. I will stay at least one night – if not two or three – until we figure out what drugs, in what amounts, work to manage the nausea. Hopefully we will only have to do this once and then have it figured out.

 

To say I’m disappointed is an understatement. I’ve cried several times today. Out of frustration mostly. I want to get this whole thing over with and it is maddening to be delayed and to be able to do nothing about it. I feel like I’m overreacting but I’ve given myself today to wallow and tomorrow I’ll be over it.

 

Will write more later. Just wanted to let you know.

 

love,
rb

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