Letters

During the bouts of cancer diagnosis and treatments, Rachel writes e-mails to keep her friends and family updated on her thoughts and spiritual walk.

My To Do List

June 1, 2009

I’m a big list person. I love lists. Making them. Crossing things off when I’m finished them. I have a daybook that sits by my telephone that holds my To Do list for each day and one of my greatest pleasures is looking back at the end of the day and seeing all my little check boxes filled in. Sigh…happiness. I’m so easily amused. Crazy, I know. But there it is. It’s who I am.

 

But my To Do list has taken a back seat of late. It’s been four months since Neil and I sat stunned on that hospital bed after receiving the news we didn’t want to hear. Four months since the whirlwind of waiting to die began. And – surprise, surprise – the waiting is not easy for me.

 

Lying in bed waiting for my next dose of medications (14 different ones, in case you’re interested). Or waiting for Neil to come home from some activity with the kids. Or waiting for the day to end so I can fall asleep and maybe forget for awhile. Not easy. I’m a doer. I like to do things. Hence the To Do list obsession.

 

It seems that all I do is wait and write silly things like “Shower” on my To Do list. But today, “Send Update” made it on to my To Do list not because there is much to tell but mostly so I could actually do something. So by way of update, here we go:

 

First off, I look pregnant. My liver has swollen so much that I am perilously close to switching teams from the In-nies to the Out-ties. I’ve had to become creative with my wardrobe as I’m sure that one of these days some well meaning person is going to ask me when I’m due. Seriously. Fashion issues on top of terminal cancer?!? There must be a limit to what one girl is expected to endure… ;)

 

And, after a few weeks of feeling like I’d plateaud a bit (i.e. a few less bad days, a few more predictable days), I feel like I’ve turned a bit of a corner again. I’ve been struggling with dizziness, difficulty breathing and more pain in my head. It also seems to be affecting my eyesight now too as I often have trouble focusing. I have had to up my pain meds significantly to deal with the pain in my shoulders, sternum and abdomen. The meds I’m on have been very effective but it does feel like things are continuing to progress. “Does it feel like you’re dying?,” some have asked. The answer is yes.

 

And I am finding that my greatest challenge and what occupies my thoughts most these days is how to finish well. All the little things that I battle daily seem to loom larger in the waiting of each day and moment as my impatience and selfish tendencies rush to the forefront of every thought and activity.

 

So my challenge is to finish well. And it seems I am to do this by waiting. Appropriately, I found this verse in Lamentations:

 

“It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

 

Waiting. Quietly. It is a good thing apparently.

 

I have added it to my To Do list…

 

with love,
rb

320 Comments

  1. I am humbled by your testimony and the strength God is giving you. I think of you and pray for you and your family often. I will continue to do so knowing that you wait. May God be with you.

  2. Rachel, thank you for sharing even though I’m sure it would be easier not to. The Lord uses your faith to continue to strengthen mine. Thank you.

  3. thank you for writing this. beautiful. praying…

  4. Rachel, hang in there. I pray the Lord bless your children and husband with sweet memories these last days. Words that will come to your head from the Lord and that you can pass on to your children – that will be a treasure and an encouragement forever. And much grace and peace to you as you wait.

  5. Rachel,

    I am praying for you. I am praying that the Lord would grant you a miracle, and that your health may be restored. I am praying that if that is not in His will, that he would protect you from pain and give you ultimate peace during this time. And I am praying for your family, that He would continue to reveal Himself in their lives every single day.

    The Lord is with you right now, Rachel. And I am thinking of you.

    Sandra

  6. oh, rachel. if only you knew what positive changes you have made in my life…and you don’t even know me! you must know that i am one of MANY that feel this way. i just saw your presentation online the other nite – i thought i would quickly check it out and couldn’t tear myself away. i have a feeling that someday soon, all will know your name and will refer to your “death is not dying” presentation i am sharing it with everyone i know. thank you so much for being so open and sharing your life with us. each day i wonder how you are doing, so i was so happy to see today’s update. i will pray for you and your family, rachel. oh, by the way, you are an excellent speaker! and on the top three things you thought you’d never want to do?!

  7. Hi Rachel, you do not know me but I saw your conference on John Piper’s website. You are such an encouragement to me. I think and pray for you all of the time. I also check this site often to see if there is an update. You are so strong and love the Lord regardless of your circumstances….that is true faith! Please know that I have told my family about you and your testimony. You are a beautiful person and thank God that you are so open about all of this to encourage others that may be going through the same thing….or like for me who needs the constant reminder of why we are here on Earth…..not for our self but for the Lord. My oldest son (who we are adopting and is 13) came to me yesterday and said that he wants to know the LORD and live as a Christian. I have been rejoicing ever since. Praise God.

  8. waiting with you. and praying for you.

    maranatha.

  9. Thank you for this glimpse of the goal line! I too am a list person, and somedays it merely reads pray. Sometimes that is all I can accomplish with fibromyalgia. But it is enough. I’ll just write it really, really large! Keep “fighting the good fight!”

  10. Ya know, we wait for so many things in our life time…but waiting to die just isn’t what we all want to be waiting to do. But as I think of you, I realize you are waiting for a very special home coming that each of us will get to experience some day. Some of us may even beat you home ;-) It is awesome to be come girlfriends this way and then we can all met for tea in heaven….what a party!!!!!!!! So, there is your heavenly TO DO LIST…set the table, make sure there is cream for the tea…some of us do like cloudy tea ;-) oh, yes…we need cookies….all kinds…I’m sure God has quite a collection of all the cookies the world’s Grandmas have made …You can ask my Grandma to make her cookies…She has been there a while.
    I hope I have made you smile…I do feel like I know you girlfriend ;-)

  11. Thank you for sharing bits of your heart Rachel. I am a lists person too, and today, and everyday, I will add to mine to pray for you, Neil, Quinn, Kate and your family. That the pain & discomfort will be very little, and the moments will be rich.

  12. Dear Rachel,

    I have just watched your video and read your last couple of updates. God bless you for sharing from your heart during your suffering and for reminding the rest of us of the things that really matter–knowing God and bringing Him glory.

    I have often contemplated how I would respond to having to leave my children (6 at present) and my husband due to cancer or another terminal illness. I have also contemplated what my response would be should God choose to take my husband or children before “their time”. I pray that I would have the honesty and humility to share with others as you have done, and in so doing, bring much glory to our great God.

    I will pray for you and your family as God brings you to mind.

    Your far away Australian sister in Christ,

    Elizabeth

  13. Rachel

    I watched your talk on your website the other day after Carolyn Mahaney posted it on her “Girl Talk” blog as a “must listen/watch.” So I did…and your talk has forever changed my outlook on my life and the relationship I have with my husband and two sweet children. I am a believer in Jesus Christ, but still a sinner that struggles with the “me factor.” What you said about saying “no” to your kids because it inconvenienced you sounds just like me…I didn’t want to get the play dough out or go outside because that’s more work for me. I give my husband a hard time expecting things from him that I myself can’t even do, but again the resounding thought of “me” plagues my relationships. Until I watched your video…and I have found that you are 100% correct…I need to know myself to see my sin of selfishness so that I can conquer that with the ability and gift of serving others. I have been spending more time with God, not because I should but because I want to know Him and I am blessed to be able to. And I know now that my purpose in life is to serve others ,not myself. So your talk has planted a seed deep within my heart that has changed me, hopefully forever, so that I can use my life, this one chance I have been blessed with, to serve others, to know God, and to know the Gospel. I find myself praying for you, Neil, Quinn, & Kate anytime I interact with my family…and know that they will continue day in and day out. And you are finishing well, with quiet grace & dignity. The Lord is pleased, and I am certain you will hear the words “Well done good & faithful servant” on that glorious day…God be with you my friend & sister in Christ!
    In Him Alone,
    Laura Grove
    Inwood, WV

  14. Rachel, your testimony coupled with yesterdays message has really spoken to my heart. To focus on the eternal things of God rather than the temporary things of this earth. I can’t even imagine the thoughts and feelings you have right now but may they be of the glories of heaven and of God’s everlasting mercies that will surely continue here with your family. I don’t mean this to sound bad, but look forward to meeting you in heaven. Your testimony has blessed me so much and I thank God for you! You speak and write so beautifully, thank you for updating us and letting us know how you are doing. May God give you strength and bless you. Love in Christ, Anna

  15. Hi,

    This is an interesting post; it sounds like you are young yet.

    The most important thing in life will be to know that you found salvation through Jesus Christ and to know that heaven is waiting for you.

    LIFE is a TEMPORARY thing, a short journey on this earth, a
    time to be a blessing to those surrounding us….
    a wonderful GIFT we all receive just once!

    When healthy and all go well, we don’t think of these things….
    we don’t cherish life at its fullest, we don’t appreciate the ones around us….we don’t seem to see the After Death LIFE as well and clear, in the brightest light that is!

    Yes indeed, life is Beautiful – Life is the only time we can express our love, passion, emotions,…I’m whipping now, literrarly, I have some great challenges, but Lord – is directing me with His love to conduct my life with integrity like always, it hurts, but it’s gonna go away….

    Thank you so much for writing. If you decide to invest a little bit more in your life,…since I had the opportunity to enter my web, I will mention here, – take your time and look for Muscadine Juice, it’s know for giving strength, and so much more, it’s worth trying it. I am taking it daily – for energy enhancement and such other things.

    You are a Son of God and He is looking after you, no doubt!

    May God bless you with strength for your family and bless them all too.

    Brotherly Love, Carolina

  16. Dear Rachel,
    Sometimes words fail us, limiting the way we truly feel and leaving us utterly disappointed when our thoughts do not find proper “wordage” to express what they truly mean to us.
    Since I have heard about you, having read your letters, heard your words, my Faith has been renewed. I have been uplifted. Encouraged. And have spent a long time thinking about my life, those I love, what my priorities are, and how I am living for God. That is where you have truly inspired me. You have shared with all of us, your strength, optimism, and Hope in the Lord, and over and over again the beauty of it all has left my heart bursting, my mind overwashed with the “Eternal”.
    Perhaps I am not properly stating what I truly intend to ( note the beginning of my writing :) But I want you to know this, your life, has inspired me to truly fully hold onto the Lord with all that I have, to be thankful for every gift no matter how small ( like the very breath I take in as I write this ), and to leave everyone in my life knowing how much I love them. Most of all, having Faith that the Lord will work all things for his Glory in his time, even when I am not able to fully understand it. His LOVE goes beyond understanding, and his hands are always holding us, even when we may doubt.
    You have inspired me my dear sister in Christ. I am praying for you and your beautiful family daily. Please know that. I’m sending Love to you, and May the Lord help alleviate your pain, and his presence felt during this great Trial. (((((((HUG))))))).~ V

  17. Thank you for the encouragement this morning. As I have been fretting over my to-do list this morning, your words have helped me to slow down and think about what is really important. Praying that our Savior will give you and your family much grace as you finish well.

  18. Rachel, you have touched my heart deeply. I viewed your latest video..speaking event in Langley, I believe. The one entitled ‘Death is not Dying’. Your love for God has encouraged me to continue on my own personal walk in Him, in ways I had taken for granted. Like, the simple privilage of being able to lift my kids when they extend their outstretched arms…continuing to love and cherish each day I have with them, loving my husband even more than I did yesterday, and most of all praying I, too, can finish each day well, honoring our Lord. I think of you often, since I listened to your message, and I thank God each day for you..praying His love and comfort continue to surround you as you wait for the day you will see Him face to face. Your husband and children are no doubt better people because they had the privilage of knowing and loving YOU.

    Be at peace, Rachel and bless you always.

    I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that in in Christ Jesus our Lord. ( Rom 8:38-39)

  19. How precious to read your thoughts and prayers. You are so eloquent in speech, and the legacy you will leave behind will be huge, not only for your children, husband, and family, but for those of us who care to know what it would be like to be dying from an illness.

    Dear Rachael, somehow the Christian in me wants the Lord to perform His miracle and keep you alive. It is for Him to know these things, although wwe must keep life balanced in His hands. But why not? Be a realist, as you are, as I am, but be alright if it is your time. That’s what you seem to be doing, and doing it so well.

    You and your family are in my prayers. Please write some more. I want to read it all.

    Be blessed and be a blessing, Stephanie

  20. Dear Rachel,
    Your “Death is not Dying” presentation and your letters on this blog amaze and inspire me. I feel that the most important thing we can have in our life – is Jesus as Saviour and you bring that truth through loud and clear. At the same time, you are so realistic and honest about your daily struggles and challenges. I cannot imagine what it must be like to have to say goodbye to precious children and a loving husband. I pray that God will continue to give you strength in the coming days and to surround your entire little family with strong arms that carry you through the difficult moments. Please know that many people are praying for you.

  21. Rachel,
    What a blessing your words are and the time and energy it took you to process them and share them with us! I am praying for you and your family… that the Lord’s presence will be quite obvious as you wait. I simply cannot imagine. I want to tell you how encouraging your words from your message were to me. I’ve watched it twice and find myself going back often! May the Lord bless you as you wait! Thank you all the way from Alabama!

  22. I can’t imagine and I don’t want to imagine, if I’m honest. All I know to do is pray for a peace that does not make sense, given the circumstances (i.e. – a peace that passes understanding) for you. May God’s presence comfort you and yours.

  23. The Forge – St. Jose Maria Escriva #97

    Renew each day the effective desire to annihilate yourself, to deny yourself, to forget yourself, to walk in novitate sensus, with a new life, exchanging the misery of ours for all the hidden and eternal grandeur of God.

    #621 The Holy Rosary: the joys, the sorrows and the glories of the life of Our Lady weave a crown of praises, repeated ceaselessly by the
    Angels and The Saints in Heaven–and by those who love our Mother here on earth.
    Practise this holy devotion every day, and spread it.

    Praying for you and your family, Rachel. I lost my adopted mother to breast cancer when I was only 7, my brother 5 and my little sister 3. I’ve always known that she’s on the other side praying for us, and we’re here praying for her. I have Mary, our most Holy Mother who will never die. She’s such a comfort. Do your children know Her yet?
    Love,
    Monica

  24. Dear Rachel,

    A friend sent me the link to your testimony “Death is not dying”. I listened and marveled at the grace God has given you to proclaim Jesus in these last hours which are your most difficult to make communication and even stand on your feet.

     

    It was just now though, that I realized I had listened without praying. Please forgive me. My selfishness, often realized, makes me ashamed. But do accept, O Lord, and dear Rachel, the words I pray now. I ask our heavenly Father to ordain this prayer through the power of His Holy Spirit:

     

    Father God in Heaven,

     

    I agree with Rachel that You are a Good Father–the best Parent in the Universe. I agree that Your love is infallible and unfailing, and I join her in praising You for Who You are. I believe that in Your mysterious ways we can trust good is being accomplished even in what seems from Earth’s point of view, a tragedy.

     

    I ask for mercy and favor. I plead the blood of Jesus over Rachel’s mind and heart, and soul and body. I am not surprised after hearing her testimony how anxious You would be to bring her to Your heart and Your home. Yet in my earthbound feelings, I pray that if a miracle were agreeable with Your will and available in Your grand scheme of Eternity’s plan, then with great and deep pleading I beg it.

     

    But if You are aching to hold her in Your arms, then do not let my begging prevail, for in Your arms there is life and peace and joy more euphoric than anything we know or could imagine.

     

    Do bless her husband with the will to give her to you without resistance or resentment. Plant in the minds and hearts and souls of her children a hunger to know You in the depths their mother Rachel has found You.

     

    May Your Holy Spirit brood over the fruit of Rachel’s womb. May Rachel’s prayers for them cover all the years of their lives. May no weapon formed against them prosper. Place the baton of teaching and testimony Rachel hands off to them firmly in their grasp. Give them a bold sensitivity and relentless passion which will serve to bring a 100 fold harvest for Your kingdom come, Your will be done.

     

    Please sanctify all the medicines and treatments that remain. Anoint Rachel’s sleep with heavenly visions. May she feel the brush of angel’s wings even now, and may she glimpse the astounding beauty of her Savior. May her hand rest in His nail-pierced hand in perfect confidence, and may she already hear the echoes of His voice: “Well done, Rachel, enter into the joy of Your Lord.”

     

    In Jesus’ Crucified Love I pray …

  25. Rachel, your message has been heard here in Wales UK. Your words are inspiring and my heart goes out to you and to your family. My prayer is that you will know the love and peace of Our Lord. x x x

  26. May God continue to bless you and your family.

  27. Here I sit, complaining about work and life’s little annoyances. Thank you for the perspective Rachel. Even that sounds so insignificant. There are no words, really. Only prayers. Thinking of you.

  28. Hey Rach! WOW you are an inspiration into my life! You tenacity and positive outlook is something that I wish to have if I am ever in your shoes! I have been following your story online and I know you are having a great positive impact on so many people. Sometimes we do not know how to respond to someone that is going through pain like you are. What can we say and what can we do? I just admire you for not blaming God for this. So many people that experience heartache in their lives blame God for their troubles but when things are going good they forget all about Him! You are, in my opinion, an awesome example of WWJD! Your journey here might be over but your ‘graduation’ into Heaven will be incredible, like you friend Renae Wilson says….
    Just look back to our Highschool years, ( where I know you from ) Sure it was fun but was the life you built up after graduation infinitely better? All the freedoms and exciting adventures? Marriage, Kids, and stuff
    ;-) All your family will follow you to where you’re going! How awesome is that!!! We are all going to go someday and I just would like to say that I admire you incredibly much!! I pray God keeps you strong!

  29. Dear Rachel,

    As you wait, always in the arms of your savior, I am deeply grateful for your sacrifical giving. March 4th especially. I listened from my home in Pa. and am now, with hope, going to share that with a friend that doesn’t KNOW God. My confidence is the same as yours, in Christ alone. My friend will hopefully be watching you speak about the hope you have and be givien Life-eternal life. Since I watched you speak I have been laughing more with my children, trying to take my selfish/prideful thoughts captive, and be thankful…very thankful. It’s the power of the gospel to save and change everyday! Though outwardly we are wasting away inwardly we are being renewed day by day. By the grace of God, this will be our hope in each moment and for all of our days. Lord, please be ever near to your daughter Rachel.

  30. “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I amy Thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of My righteousness.” Isaiah 41:10

    Dear Rachel, His blessings and His peace – may they uphold you. We love you in the Lord. Praying for you.

  31. I work at my church which is a wonderful honor and priviledge. Although, on days like today…it is hard. A state trooper who is also a member of our church was killed in while in pursuit of person driving over 100mph late Saturday afternoon. His funeral will be here today in just another hour or so…oh how we are reminded frequently that life is fleeting. But, just as his death will touch many lives today and maybe even lead some to Christ…so will these “last” days that the Lord has gifted you with. I pray that you are able to soak up every hug and kiss from your family unlike this honorable man who didn’t know death was coming so soon. And I also pray the Lord will constantly remind you of the lives you are touching with each day he gifts you with. God Bless you!

  32. In my thoughts and prayers since I saw your video.

    Have 2 friends going through cancer treatment right now, and praying for the right opportunity to ask them to watch it too.

    Hugs from Northern Ireland.

  33. Rachel,
    Thank you for sharing …..praying for you and your family !

  34. Rachel, I have been so touched by your story. Candidly, I find it difficult to know what to say to you. My words of comfort and encouragement fall miserably short. When I read your post today about waiting the verse that came to mind was Isaiah 40:31. This verse has offered me comfort during periods of waiting. However, I struggled with how someone who is waiting to die would draw comfort from this verse. I have not had to wait to die. I am quite sure though that the many things that I have had to wait for did not promise the glorious treasure that awaits you the moment you take your last breath here on earth.

    Isaiah 40:31 “but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

    There is no doubt your strength is diminishing…but the Lord can make your spirit strong.

    And there is no doubt you are weary…”Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

    My prayer for you is that our gracious Lord gives you strength beyond measure and rest in the midst of this very difficult wait.

    In His abundant grace,

    Diane

  35. Rachel,
    I am so grateful to you for sharing your life with the rest of us. The Lord has used your story to bring into focus the eternal things of my own life. After listening to your video testimony, I began reading “Knowing God” by J.I. Packer. God convicted me in many ways about my lack of intimacy with Him. I thank you for allowing Him to use you during this time to strengthen and sharpen this sister in Christ. It will be a privilege to meet you some day. And it will be an honor to pray for you as you finish the race.

    May God’s abundant grace continue to strenghten and keep you.

  36. You are such an encouragement for so many. I got a link to your taped message 2 weeks ago. That same week a good friend also finished her journey on earth. She was also a young mother (33) of 2 boys. She also started with breast cancer, then lung cancer and 4 weeks ago they found it in her brain. She also never complained and it was so good to hear your testimony when I did. Thank you, I think and pray for you often.

  37. I was praying for you today and hoping to hear more from you and this afternoon I got an email. PTL! Lists are SO satisfying as we see the check marks! God is faithful and will carry you through!!

  38. <3

    I love you, sis.

    Praying for you & your family.

    <3

  39. We’re praying for you and yours here in Iowa. In Christian love, Laura

  40. Rachel,
    I just want you to know what a encouragement you are to me!! Someone sent me your talk you did and got me on your web site.I have even joined your face book :) I have cried and prayed for you and your family. We sure don’t understand God’s ways sometimes, but we can rest in the fact that He loves us and cares for us.
    I will be praying for you and your family!

  41. Dear Rachel,

    Even though we have never met, I mourn with you, my sister in Christ, but I am confident that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. Praise God that death has lost its sting, it has no victory over us who are in Christ.

    I have shared your story with my 13 yr old daughter. Thank you for being a godly example I can hold up to her of courage, true faith, and giving glory to our God no matter the circumstances. Your testimony of your life being defined by your relationship with Jesus Christ, your Lord and Saviour, brings glory and honour to God. You have not been ashamed of Him before men and He will not be ashamed of you.

    I’ll continue to pray that you would, in His strength, honour Him in all circumstances, just as you are doing. Also for His peace that passes all understanding for you and your family.

    With love
    Michelle
    North Vancouver

  42. Thank you for taking the time and energy to share your heart with strangers like myself. You are truly glorifying God with your testimony! That is what it means to not only finish the race set before you, but to finish it well. You are a blessing and encouragement to many, pointing the way to salvation through Jesus Christ.

    I am praying for you, as well as for your family. May God hold you close and give you much grace and strength and peace to endure.

  43. Rachel, even your updates are an encouragement to so many of us. I am praying for you daily that God’s grace will continue to be sufficient for you and your family….for every pain and every trouble. May an awareness of His presence surround you every day you have left. Thank you so much for sharing! We love you without knowing you and we will miss you when you go Home.

  44. Hi Rachel,

    I’m a good friend of Marty Barkey and I have had the privilege of praying for you for quite some time now. Marty gives me updates on how you are doing.

    Sweat Heart you are finishing well. :) As God holds you and gives you the strength to do what is on His to do list, He joys in you and is so very pleased with you.

  45. You have inspired me. To be a better follower of Jesus Christ, to be a better wife and mother. You have awakened me to the fact that we are all waiting to die. And it’s what we do while we wait that matters.

  46. Thanks for updating us. You will be in our prayers…

  47. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with all of us strangers. I am so inspired by your faith and in particular, your reminder to serve with joy. Continued prayers for you and your family.

  48. Luci Swindoll once said this, “We are not the light; we are not the source of light. We’re simply broken mirror fragments, and we can turn our brokenness to the Savior, and then His Light shines off of us.” As Christians, we know that we are broken and cannot do anything good, but through Christ we become beautiful. That is what you are Rachel – beautiful. You reflect Christ so brightly that those of us who hear you cannot help but be touched. It is my prayer that through you many may come to know the Lord.
    Thank you. My prayers are with you and your family. Until we meet in heaven. . .

    “The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.”
    Numbers 6:24-26

  49. Hi Rachel. You don’t know me, but I am yet another person who was touched by your video testimony. I don’t normally post to people’s blogs I don’t know because usually I figure I don’t really have anything to say that hasn’t already been said, which is quite true this time as well and yet I feel compelled to write to you.

    Seeing as you’re in bed most times and maybe on your to-do list you’ve written, “Read all the comments people have posted on my blog” I wanted to give you one more thing to check off to give you some pleasure in the midst of the pain.

    :D

    I think I speak for everyone when I say we love to hear from you so as long as you’re able, please continue to put us on your to-do list. See, there’s one more thing you can check off to gain a bit of pleasure! :)

    If it’s any affirmation to you in the least little bit I tell you with confidence that you are finishing well. And not only are you finishing well but you’re starting things in others lives that you’ve never even met so that we all may finish well too.

    All my love and prayers from Cadillac, Michigan!
    Deb Simon

  50. Please tell Rachel that her testimony has blessed several of my friends here in the Dominican Republic. It is a huge encouragement to read her letter today. Her honest vulnerability and her desire to finish well challenge my heart. And I believe with all my heart the Lord will give her the desire of her heart to wait quietly for His salvation.

    Praying for you, Rachel!! Praying WITH you, asking our Father to continue shining His beautiful grace through you and in you.

    Much love sister, even if we’ve never met! Looking forward to meeting you Home!
    Aylín Michelén

  51. A friend gave me this poem when I waited to see if my husband would live or die of a brain infection upstairs from me while I was on full bedrest in the hospital waiting for my baby to get to 36 weeks. I pray it is an encouragement to you. You bless me and I look forward to meeting you someday. You are finishing well and making such a difference to so many. I will show your speech at my girls group this Friday. May God comfort you in special and unique way personal to you today.

    Wait
    by Russell Kelfer
    Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
    Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
    I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
    And the Master so gently said, “Wait.”

    “Wait? you say wait?” my indignant reply.
    “Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
    Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
    By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.
    “My future and all to which I relate
    Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
    I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,
    Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.
    “You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
    We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
    And Lord I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
    I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”
    Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
    As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
    So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
    And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting for what?”
    He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
    and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
    I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
    I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
    “I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
    You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
    You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.
    You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
    “You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
    You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
    You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
    When darkness and silence are all you can see.
    “You’d never experience the fullness of love
    When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
    You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
    But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
    “The glow of my comfort late into the night,
    The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
    The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
    From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
    “You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
    What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
    Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
    But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing in you.
    “So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
    That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
    And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
    My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.”

  52. Rachel,

    May the Lord bless you and use you more for his glory, thinking of you and praying for you and tour family, you are amazing woman. be blessed

  53. Rachel,

    May the Lord bless you and use you more for his glory, thinking of you and praying for you and for your family, you are an amazing woman. be blessed

  54. Rachel,
    Thank you so much for allowing us on your journey. You are very brave. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers

  55. Rachel,

    Waiting on the LORD… something we should all be doing.
    In our days, in our hours, in our moments. We are all given a moment on the time line that is ours to live; after that is Eternity.
    While we are here– we wait.
    Trust.
    Seek.
    How will I spend my time on the time line? No better way than Waiting on the LORD– he is always on time.

    Grace and Peace, Sister

  56. WOW…what an amazing person you are…thank you…

    Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who do His bidding, who obey His word….Psalm 103:20

  57. Rachel,
    As I read your beautiful testimony again and then the words of all the brothers and sisters in Christ who are encouraged and convicted by your testimony, I give thanks to God for you. Praying for His blessings on you and your family.

  58. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are an inspiration and while I listened to your testimony, I felt myself questioning “WHY GOD??”, I appreciate you sharing your struggle on knowing that God is enough and that HE alone is good. My prayers are with you and your family. I pray that you would know the depth of his love.

  59. Rachel,
    You are an inspiration! I will be praying for you. God will help you to finish the way that He desires. Let Him have control of the finish! It is His work!

  60. Your story has touched me so deeply. I have a friend who is also waiting to die after battling ovarian cancer for eight years. She, too, knows the Lord. Praying for your peaceful release from this life into the next.

  61. Thank You.

  62. Rachel,
    One June 1, I sinned. I spent the entire night and day worrying about fears. I am ending my evening with praying. My fears have subsided. I so needed Your words. Thank you.
    Cindy

  63. Rachel, I watched your video this weekend and it is such an inspiration. You have challenged me to quit being so selfish and to meditate on what my purpose in life is … to please God. Thank you for your amazing words. I am praying for you and your family. I hope it’s ok that I have talked a bit about you and put a link to your video on my blog. I just think everyone should hear your words and take them to heart. Thank you again for sharing them with us. I’m glad you had “send update” on your To Do list today. It was great to hear from you.

  64. Rachel – your ability to accept this …. I don’t have a word for what you are going through….in your life is inspiring……I am momentarily mad at God for taking you but at the same time, jealous of your destination! I have learned not to question His plans yet sometimes things are so hard to understand.
    You are finishing SO well my sister….so well. I too, look forward to meeting you someday when your body is perfect and there will be no suffering, only peace, joy and thanksgiving.
    You are in my prayers constantly as well as your family. Thanks for everything – Godspeed.
    Your sister in Christ.

  65. “Who is this coming from the dessert leaning on her lover?” Song of Songs
    I continue to be amazed how when the body weakens the spirit strengthens. May you continue to hold the hand of God as your spirit soars. You have opened the window to your soul, thank you.
    “I know your burden, child. I shaped it; balanced it in My Own hand; made no proportion in its weight to your unaided strength. For even as I laid it on, I said, ‘I will be near, and while she leans on Me this burden will be mine not hers.. But loving Me, lean hard.”

  66. As I read your update, I pray for you and your family. You are a very courageous woman that is truly blessed with the spirit of compassion for others. To share with us your difficulties and to even do so in a humourous way I have the utmost respect for you. God is there waiting for you at the finish line…..in your time. Praying for your journey!

  67. Hey again Rachel:)

    Just letting you know that you are in my prayer to the God of heaven, in our Lord Jesus Christ. I am thankful to the Lord that I have had the opportunity to meet you (the internet can be used for good). I told my pastor about you also and some of my brothers in the Lord at my church and linked your video to them. Thanks for encouraging us in the faith.

    I say to God my Rock,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
    Why must I go about mourning,
    oppressed by the enemy?”
    My bones suffer mortal agony
    as my foes taunt me,
    saying to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?” Why are you downcast, O my soul?
    Why so disturbed within me?
    Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God. (Ps 42:9:11).

    Love in the Lord,

    Dejan.

  68. Hey Rachel, I just thought I’d give you a nice song to cheer you up;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIlGBQfdzL4&feature=related

    Watch it:)

  69. “Finish well” – I love that. How it makes me cry. How it makes me yearn. How it makes me pray. How it also makes me want to eat cookies, I’m not sure why…

  70. Rachel,
    I listened to the talk you gave and sat amazed and moved by your words of wisdom. Everything you said, made so much sense and blessed me and encouraged me and challenged me. I pray blessings and peace upon your family. You are such an amazing woman!! Your family is blessed, thanks for the work you are doing in so many peoples lives you’ haven’t met.
    May He comfort you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.”

  71. Dear Rachel……..As I write this through my tears, you will never know until heaven all the many hearts you have blessed through your testimony. Reading about your to-do-list has made me put you & your family on the top of mine!!!

    “Thou layest Thy hand on the fluttering heart,
    And sayest, ‘Be still!’
    The silence and shadow are only a part
    Of Thy sweet will;
    Thy presence is with me, and where Thou art
    I fear no ill.” ~FRH~

    God grant you peace and comfort my sweet sister in Christ!!!

  72. dear rachel,
    even tho i don’t know you. you inspire me.
    you made me cry for the things that you have i wished i had.
    a to do list,…i can never seem to finish or even sometimes start.
    a strength in the Lord,…me i feel strays far too often.
    a beauty from the inside out…i’m jealous i want that too
    a commitment…that you keep on going..when i tend to give up all the time.
    you have inspired me to step up…and i thank Jesus for you.
    you are in my thoughts and prayers
    your sister in the Lord,
    Joyce

  73. Rachel you are so blessed, how amazing you are God
    loves you and heaven is proud of you and is cheering you go go go Rachel..

  74. As a poet once said: “They also serve, who only stand and wait.” My prayers are with you and yours. Thanks for the sermon since as the Puritans would say: “we should preach as dying man to dying men.”

  75. Rachel,
    I don’t even know what to say except how deeply you’ve touched my heart, my love for God, all from a woman I’ve never met, yet feel like I’ve known her all my life. You are a remarkable woman – with the most incredible, steadfast love for our Lord, Jesus that it makes all my desires to love him more, grow more and more every day. I thank you for sharing your love with me and I pray for God to continue to give you and your family the strength you need everyday til God brings you to his heart, his kingdrom forever. You’re incredible and you make me want to be a better person, a better disciple. May God bless you always.

  76. You and I seem so much alike, the little to do lists (or not so little) the need to be doing often takes over the need to sit and spend time with my children. Its not amazing how much I have learned from your testimony and letters, you have spoken so deeply to my heart as a woman after God’s own heart myself. I do pray for God’s grace in your life, His strength and patience too.
    I shared your talk with my young woman’s study group last week, it truly touched their hearts also i believe-they were left speechless, and at more than your testimony, but at just how much more God wants from them, you managed to sum up in 1 hour what we are teaching every fortnight.
    I look forward to meeting you one day…in His glorious presence. Bless you Rachel.

  77. Rachel,
    I was blessed to have found your site through a friend, trying to encourage me while my dad suffers through terminal stage 4 cancer. What an AMAZING testimony your life is. You are most definitely not wasting this gift that God has given you in the end of your life, and I am so encouraged and strengthened by your words. As a wife and mother who all too often forgets my own need for the Gospel, and my tendency to run other places for life, your video posted on this site has helped to be another reminder to me of the beauty of Jesus, what he has done for us and our purpose. Thank you so much for the gift you gave me. Now, if I can share with you a gift that has blessed me – a sermon by a pastor who I know you will be blessed by.
    enjoy!
    http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/pray-like-jesus/the-gethsemane-prayer
    I have prayed for you as Jesus did and thank you again for your heart and willingness to share.
    Lovingly,
    ashley

  78. Rachel,

    I have been praying for you and your family since I heard your testimony last week. As the apostle paul said, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” You have done these things also and someday you will stand before Your heavenly Father and He will say to you, “well done my good and faithful servant.” Peace is not the absence of fear, but the confidence that God is in control, and that He is faithful to His Word. 1 Peter 5:10 says, “And after you suffer for a time, God, who gives all grace, will make everything right. He will make you strong and support you and keep you from falling. He called you to share in His glory in Christ, a glory that will continue forever.” There is a song by Wayne Watson called, “Home Free” and I thought of it when I heard you speak. If you can find it online, I think it would encourage you to listen to. God bless you and your family.

    In Christ,
    Drew

  79. Rachel,

    I found the Wayne Watson song I mentioned in my last comment on Youtube. The video is a tribute to another mother with cancer. I pray you will find peace as you listen to the words of this song. May God strengthen you in His grace.

    Here is the video link:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4CzFBbHPAY

    In Christ,
    Drew

  80. I am so sorry, but thankful at the same time.your posts have so enriched my life.I hope if I bet you Home I can welcome you there…prayers,Randy

  81. Rachel,
    I watched your video yesterday, after my pastor mentioned your website during his sermon. I am deeply touched by your honesty and courage. Your faith is an inspiration to many. Thank you for your willingness to share your story with others. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  82. I wanted to share how beautifully you have affected
    my life.
    I have had a fear of death for several years now. I am a healthy, 35 year old mother of two but for some reason I have been handed the wonderful struggle of anxiety. It appears the Lord has given me this “thorn” to keep me depenant on Him because my flesh would so easily walk away and follow after the pleasures of the world. However, His grip is solid and will not let me go. Praise Him for his unending grace!

    In this moment, I am ever so peaceful as I read your updates and experience your life through this tiny portal in cyberspace.

    Thank you, Jesus, for allowing me to stumble upon Rachel’s journey home as the thought of my homecoming is all the more glorious!

    Rachel, I am humbled at this race you are running and pray that I don’t let this peace become a fleeting moment but linger in the love of Christ and my desire to be with Him.

    The glory of God is being revealed in your dying. It is drawing me closer to the God of my salvation.

    Soli Deo Gloria!

  83. I am humbled by your words, awed by your patience and repentent in my own failings to do the same as you in my times of trouble. Having never walked the path you are going I believe I cannot totally understand your feelings, but take inspiration from your moving through with the resolve and spirit you are showing. May the Lord Bless you and Keep you. May his face shine upon you. And may the patience needed to await his call come upon you and your family. My prayers are with you.

  84. Rachel,

    Many have been impacted by your life and testimony. Your teaching has changed me for time and eternity. Keep pressing sis!

    Trish

  85. I LIKE LIST TO AND YOU ARE ON THE VERY TOP.YOU DON’T KNOW ME,AND I DON’T KNOW YOU PERSONALLY BUT GOD KNOWS US BOTH AND HE WILL ANSWER OUR PRAYER… HEAVENLY FATHER I PRAY WITH THIS MY SISTER . LORD JESUS YOU BORE THE STRIPES ON YOUR BACK FOR OUR HEALING,AND I CLAIM THAT HEALING POWER FOR RACHEL RIGHT NOW LORD. IN YOUR NAME I PRAY.AMEN AMEN

  86. Rachel,

    I am in aw of your strength and the way you see light through out all your darkness. I feel for you and your family and just want you to know that you have inspired me to be a better parent and to “pick up my litle girl”.
    I have three little girls so that will happen alot.

    God Bless you and your family.

  87. Thank you – in all my years in seeking the Lord and trying to stay on the path has anyone ever impacted me as much as you have.

    God is devine and does work in ways which are not of our understanding and having found the web site of your talk is a great example.

    Hearing your journey has reconfirmed that the Lord is a bigger part of my life and your life story is leading me closer even though I have been fighting it with my sin. I have prayed for women such as you to come into my life – I admire and love you and the courage you have – Thank you.

    I regret the physical pain you are having to endure – and hope you have better days. You and yours will be in my thoughts.

  88. Dear Rachel,

     

    I hope this song brings you some comfort. I admire your faith, and it really put my life into perspective. You & your family are in our prayers.

     

    Praise You in This Storm (Casting Crowns)

     

    I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
    and wiped our tears away,
    stepped in and saved the day.
    But once again, I say amen
    and it’s still raining
    as the thunder rolls
    I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
    “I’m with you”
    and as Your mercy falls
    I raise my hands and praise
    the God who gives and takes away.

     

    Chorus:
    And I’ll praise you in this storm
    and I will lift my hands
    for You are who You are
    no matter where I am
    and every tear I’ve cried
    You hold in your hand
    You never left my side
    and though my heart is torn
    I will praise You in this storm

     

    I remember when I stumbled in the wind
    You heard my cry to You
    and raised me up again
    my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
    if I can’t find You
    and as the thunder rolls
    I barely hear You whisper through the rain
    “I’m with you”
    and as Your mercy falls
    I raise my hands and praise
    the God who gives and takes away

     

    Chorus

     

    I lift my eyes onto the hills
    where does my help come from?
    My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
    I lift my eyes onto the hills
    where does my help come from?
    My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

  89. Rachel, your story has profoundly touched me. Your message (Death is not Dying – A Faith that Saves) was confronting and incredibly affecting. What you shared was amazing, wonderful. You are on my mind very much and I will never, ever forget you. I have had breast cancer, too – very similar pathology to yours. But God has not called me home yet. You have experienced and spoken about what many people don’t experience or speak about. Thank you for blessing me so very, very profoundly. God’s Kingdom is being prepared for you … may your days be sprinkled with joy and may you know that He will take care of those you love. Much love and a huge amount of respect, honour and gratitude goes to you, Alyson.

  90. Thank you for sharing your LIFE with us! I feel honored.
    My family and I have truly been affected by your life and testimony.
    I am praying that the Holy Spirit comfort you, protect you, guide you as you wait.
    Again, Thank you! I am humbled.
    In His Love,
    Anna

  91. Thank you for your update sweet sister. I know that many were blessed as I was to read of how you have been doing. I see that already today 64 others have already responded to your post. I am one of many who don’t know you, but who know you. Thank you for continuing to allow us to glimpse into your life to be able to pray appropriately and specifically for you. I am not the only one on whose heart God has heavily placed you. So we pray.
    Father God, I pray for abundant grace for Rachel as she waits. Lord God, I pray that she would experience such sweet intimacy and fellowship with you. Surprise her and delight her in ways that only You can. Give her grace to keep her gaze firmly fixed on You knowing that You are continuing to work in and through each apparent mundane little thing that she battles each day. Thank you for her faithfulness and desire to not waste her life, but to use every wisp of this vapor for your glory. Thank you Lord for all you are doing. We praise You and thank You. Continue to use her pain to bring lives to You, many lives Lord. amen.

  92. Hello Rachel :)

    In response to your wonderful and touching letter, I have come up with an idea, since you love checking things off (which I do as well; only super-efficient Type A’s can understand the thrill of such a simple thing as a To-Do list): why not have a To-Not-Do list? That way you can check everything off at the end of the day without having to expend too much of the energy that you need to conserve, plus it can be a way to stay accountable and faithful during trying moments. Some ideas for a To-Not-Do list:

    - not get angry at God (or at others)
    - not cuss
    - not lose hope
    - not fail to make the most of every minute
    - not withhold praise from the Father
    - not dwell on negative thoughts

    You get the idea. For every item that you did not do, you can check it off at the end of the day :) You might even end up with two lists..the To Do *and* the To Not-Do… twice the satisfaction! ;)

    I have praised God for the way that He has kept you faithful during this very difficult time. My prayers continue to be for you and for your family; may He give you joy and laughter amid the pain.

  93. Oh, Rachel. As your sister in Christ I am praying for you. Praying for wisdom as how to pray for you! I am sad because of your situation and yet sit in awe as to how soon you get to meet our Savior and God face to face.
    Your story has changed my story. Thank you.

    Love in Christ,
    Alisa

  94. Dear Rachel,

    What a testimony you have! According to what I have learned about the Bible your doctorine is so in line as to what I believe it says. “Well done good and faithful servant” I imagine our Lord will say to you as you unite with Him. I hope to emulate that should I be faced with this disease. As I pray for my mom I will also mention you to our Lord. She has the exact type of cancer as you. Things have happened exactly as yours has. She discovered she had breast cancer about 9 yrs. ago. It was hormone recessive as well and too went into remission and returned four yrs. later with a vengence in the form of bone cancer. She has exhausted all chemo. available due to either extreme adverse reaction or ineffectiveness. If I didn’t know I was reading your story I’d think I was reading my mom’s. I must say I am so glad to have seen your story and testimony. It has actually given me much insight as to what my mom is going through. She and I really don’t talk much about it. I don’t know if it is me or her that is in denile. I think probably me of which she senses and therefore avoids conversing about it. Shamefully selfish on my part. Her goal right now is to make it to my oldest son’s wedding which is in a few weeks. Right now it looks as though that will happen. I will pray that you will continue to endure until He comes. Many Blessings and again thank you for sharing!

  95. Hello Rachael. We have something in common with list making! My lists seem insignificant at times, well a lot of the time, with all the ‘stuff’ that needs tending…but…thank you Rachael you’ve helped me to re-think that list making of mine.
    Perhaps I’m not too old to learn. It takes courage to learn from each other, thinking we need to make our own way…but how awesome would it be to include on these lists things like, take time, be joyful, do something for someone else, laugh, read, sip a cup of tea and listen to the birds chirping in the trees off the deck…life is short but it is a gift. By you living your faith, taking the courage to share even beyond your wildest dreams, you’ve made in impact and you’re bringing each of us closer to Christ, and in Christ we are made alive. Blessings and hugs, Rachael,
    from Springfield, Ontario,
    Linda
    Enjoy these two lovely pieces of music Rachael, a little gift to you from me.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWYtujZjoUA&feature=related
    “You are My Hiding Place/As the Deer”

  96. Rachel, thank you for your honesty and your willingness to share this struggle of finishing well to the end.
    I have prayed and thought of you often since viewing your video and was touched by it and continue to think on it as the Spirit brings certain components to mind.
    I hope you find encouragement in this journey as you have touched so many with your gentle faith that stands boldly in adversity and remains steadfast holding on to Jesus.

    praying for you this day,
    Kim

  97. Rachel,
    Thank you for your example of waiting on the Salvation of the Lord. I pray that He will strengthen you and give you peace. He who watches over you will neither slumber or sleep. (psalm 121) I pray that you are comforted by knowing that you, and your hubby and kids, are in His care. Underneath you are His everlasting arms!

    Love,
    Meghan Padhi

  98. Hi Rachel, I just want to thank you for being an encouragement to all of us who are ‘well’. May we take advantage of each day that God has given us to give glory to His name by living just like you.

    We are praying for you here in Hanoi, Vietnam. A friend shared about you in our international fellowship there and we are all remembering you.

    Love and prayers…

  99. Rachel’s To Do List:
    Encourage other sisters in the Lord in the midst of my sufferings…all to the glory of God – CHECK

    Praying for you!
    You have been the aroma of Christ to so many.
    Rest in Him.

  100. Hold fast Rachel. Remember how Jesus sweat drops of blood being in agony in the garden. Remember how your Savior was nailed to a cross for your sins. Remember how He rose from the dead for your justification. Remember how much He loves you.

    Hold fast in these last days and remember…… nothing can separate you from the love of Christ. NOTHING.

    Your on our minds and in our prayers Rachel
    .

  101. Dear Rachel,
    You’ve been on my heart ever since I listened to your story, not only because of what you shared, but also because when I read about what you enjoy, “good friends, good food, good wine, March Madness, Sunday afternoons watching NFL football, warm climates, water, and reading good books,” I called my sister and read them to her. She said, “Wow, that sounds like you!”
    So I’ve been praying for you, and God won’t let you out of my heart and mind for very long.
    It’s funny that you wrote about waiting–I spent my whole quiet time this morning looking up Scriptures that pertain to waiting, just meditating and praying through them all.
    You see, I also am waiting. I’m waiting for my youngest son to come home and say good-bye to me before he deploys to Iraq. Sometimes when I think about that moment I can hardly breathe. And the waiting will only continue; waiting to hear that he’s safe, waiting for the days to pass until he comes home, hoping to never ever hear a knock on the door.
    Psalm 62 was comforting. “For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.” I desire to “wait” in such a way that I bring honor and glory to God. I want to wait patiently, joyfully, eagerly, hopefully, faithfully. And I will pray that you do the same–my sister in the Lord who would sit and watch football and March Madness with me!
    Psalm 31:24, “Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!”
    Love,
    Susan

  102. Look at how powerful our God is!! I know that your encouraged by all of the post that others have shared. It brings tears to my eyes and joy to my heart to see God at work in you and in others.
    I pray for you often and thank you for your honesty,and the humility that you show. And I know that you are finding strength in God. And you are dependent upon His Word. And I know that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle and that he is holding you up.
    The a verse that I have been reading lately has been Psalms 84:10-12
    10 For a day in your courts is better
    than a thousand elsewhere.
    I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
    than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
    11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
    the Lord bestows favor and honor.
    No good thing does he withhold
    from those who walk uprightly.
    12 O Lord of hosts,
    blessed is the one who trusts in you!

  103. Rachel, you are so courageous, and your allowing us into your life at such a time is an amazing testimony of your faith and Christ’s grace in your life. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord shine his face upon you and be gracious unto, and give you peace, my sister. You are loved!

  104. There is not a day that goes by that I have not thought about you. It must appear weird that a stranger will think that. I think you are a remarkable person and you have definately touched my heart. I cannot help the anger I feel towards God though. Maybe if I was stronger in my walk with Jesus I would not feel such anger when I know Jesus has the ability to heal and why not just heal you. I still am holding out and praying every day (and I seriously do pray ever single day..several times a day for you) You seem to always be on my mind. You are such a beautiful person and I am going to believe in a miracle for you that Jesus WILL HEAL YOU! Hang in there! I know this is not easy! BIG HUGS from a stranger and know many of us are praying for you daily! :) Carrie

  105. My sister sent me a link to your testimony and I sat and watched it in awe of the mighty God we serve! That he can give peace to you in your situation is a testimony of his faithfulness~

    Only recently the mention of cancer brought very little feeling to me. A few months ago my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and it had brought a whole new feeling to the mention of cancer. We as a family are beginning the battle of cancer…and all of the feelings that go along with it.

    May God grant you many special days with your husband and children. And may we all look forward to the promise of our eternal home. Which will surpass any beauty we have here. God has blessed many with your testimony, Thank you for sharing!

  106. Dearest Rachel,
    Thank you so much for your beautiful faith! The past few weeks have been very difficult, and I have been pressing in to my dear Savior asking Him for guidance, direction, renewed joy and peace…healing of my heart. He has spoken to me so clearly tonight through you my sweet sister. Thank you! A friend forwarded me an email with a link to the message you shared on March 4th, and I am so grateful, and will pass your encouragement and bold testimony along to others. Gosh, I wish we could have been friends here:) I look forward to the day I will meet you in heaven. You make the gospel so beautiful and your life is a living testament to His kindness! Thank you for your update today, I will be praying for you tonight. May the Lord bless you, keep you and make his face shine upon you, and give you peace.
    Kelly Trader:)

  107. Dear Rachel,

    I am praying for you from Romania… Thank you for the video, and for being so open about how things are going in your life… You are a blessing to so many people, including me!

    What you are doing right now counts enormously – it so magnifies Christ, even to the unseen world who is witness when you are alone in bed, in pain… It shows to the whole world that Christ IS precious enough to still trust and love while being in great physical pain and suffering human loss… It is making a difference. May God continue to strengthen you and your loved ones!

    Love,
    Brindusa

    P.S. Monica Collins, the angels and redeemed people in heaven are totally given to praising God and His Christ, His Lamb who died for sinners. Rachel has Him who died for her and is alive for ever, to never die again. He is her supreme comfort.

  108. I am amazed at the Lord’s strength shining out through you. It is truly humbling to listen to your testimony. May His will be fully accomplished in your life and I pray that He will continue to grant you a peace that transcends all understanding as you wait on Him.

    Psalm 27 …Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

    Much love in him.

  109. Rachel, this Sunday we sang about the glorious reality of hearing angels sing, hearing “Well done”, seeing the LORD, knowing NO MORE PAIN, and the amazing reality of being in the Saviour’s presence and I WEPT for you, tears of joy, tears of pain, just alot of tears. I think of you all the time, and I truly love you and am SO impacted by you. It’s clear you are leaving a HUGE legacy…106 comments as I write this in 24 hours? Amazing…YOU are amazing. Love you, Nicolle

  110. Please know that my wife and I have changed how we say yes more often to our four children. Yes to time with them. Yes to prayer with them and teaching them more and more about God’s love. We say yes to each other also now more than ever because God has used you as a tool to bring us closer to Him for His glory! We are praying for you!
    “Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (the message)

  111. Rachel, my sister in Christ,
    Here is a little of our dear friend Charles Spurgeon that I hope will encourage you:
    “Trouble does not necessarily bring consolation with it to the believer, but the presence of the Son of God in the fiery furnace with him fills his heart with joy. He is sick and suffering, but Jesus visits him and makes his bed for him. He is dying, and the cold chilly waters of Jordan are gathering about him up to the neck, but Jesus puts His arms around him, and cries, “Fear not, beloved; to die is to be blessed; the waters of death have their fountain-head in heaven; they are not bitter, they are sweet as nectar, for they flow from the throne of God.” As the departing saint wades through the stream, and the billows gather around him, and heart and flesh fail him, the same voice sounds in his ears, “Fear not; I am with thee; be not dismayed; I am thy God.” As he nears the borders of the infinite unknown, and is almost affrighted to enter the realm of shades, Jesus says, “Fear not, it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Thus strengthened and consoled, the believer is not afraid to die; nay, he is even willing to depart, for since he has seen Jesus as the morning star, he longs to gaze upon Him as the sun in his strength. Truly, the presence of Jesus is all the heaven we desire. He is at once “The glory of our brightest days; The comfort of our nights.”

  112. Dear Rachel,
    I am always so moved by your posts. As I read you post today, I remind myself that I too am dying. Not because I have terminal cancer but because I am told that my, like everyone elses, my days are numbered. But the challenge I face and ask myself this morning, am I dying well? Am I finishing my race the God has sent before me with the constant vigor to honor the Lord as your life exudes? Thank you for being a testimony to me. May the Lord grant you even more grace today my friend whom I’ve only met through your testimony. Someday, I look forward meeting you face to face.
    Heidi

  113. Dear Rachel,

    I am new to your blog and am amazed by the grace and peace I feel as I read your words. May your spiritual faith continue on in your strength and flow into your family. I am praying for you, your husband and your sweet children.

    I am amazed by your courage. When so many in your situation would curl up in terror and angst, you use this to show God’s love and spread the word of faith.

    You have touched more people than you will ever know. For every comment on here there are dozens of more lives you have touched and will continue too in your legacy.

    God bless you,
    Brandi

  114. Rachel
    You astonish me with your acceptance and peacefull ness. I pray God will continue to give you strength. I pray alot for your girls even though I have never met them. I guess this is because I also have girls and I know how concerned I would be about them once I am gone. God will take care of them. If we are to believe what God says, He loves them more than you do. I often find this hard to believe but I want to believe it. I pray your pain will not overwhelm you and you will enjoy every precious moment you have with your girls and Neil. Thank you for sharing so openly.
    Lisa

  115. Dear Rachel,
    Thank you for letting us know how you are doing. I have been praying, wondering and then praying more. I loved your talk that is so powerful and I tell everyone I know to watch it. Funny that your list is to finish well that was my first thought after watching your talk, “this is finishing well in its purest form” and now here its on your list to do. You are my hero! Thank you for all that you are doing for the Kingdom of God.
    I am praying.
    In His Awesome Love
    Lolly DiMaio

  116. “so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.”- Hebrews 9:28

  117. Rachel,

    I’m so humbled by your faith.

    I was widowed at the age of 30 and my only daughter was born 11 days after daddy gone back to Heaven. In God’s providence I believe my husband’s pain was much lessen having not seen his daughter on earth, making the parting easier.
    My daughter now is 5 years old and I give thanks to the Lord daily for this loan of love in my daughter daily.

    But you..I just can’t imagine what goes on in you emotionally as you look at your kids everyday knowing that your days are surely numbered.

    One thing for sure – YOUR FAITH HAS STRENGTHENED a lot of people and MOST DEFINITELY MINE!
    Thank you for sharing

    Likuan, Singapore

  118. Rachel, your life is an example of a life well lived. In these past posts I have seen such a vulnerability and a reliance on our Savior. Thank you for sharing your heart and soul. Bless you.

  119. Rachel~your life and your journey that you so graciously have openly shared has moved and changed who I am. My dear sister: you are finishing well! I admire you in who you are and the faith in Christ that defines you. Thank you for opening the door to that truth in my life.
    I too have been praying for you and your family and was glad to hear how you are doing.
    Your testimony moves me to the depth of my soul and forever I am changed by it.
    Thinking of my dear sister and looking forward to the day we meet!
    Love in Christ~ Teena

  120. Rachel,
    you are in my prayers and thoughts

  121. Hi Rachel.

    I am keeping my promise.

    The Lord is with you.

    Brother Brian

  122. Rachel-
    I am so blessed to have heard your story. You are an amazingly beautiful women of God. The strength, grace and faith that you radiate, even as you struggle, brings tears to my eyes. I want my life to glorify Jesus and through your words you have encouraged my faith! I am sure, if we would of met we would have been instant friends! I enjoy your God given sense of humor and your ability to persevere. Thank you, my sister in Christ, for living out loud as you wait! You and your family are in my prayers. May Jesus comfort your every moment!
    To Him be the glory,
    Tam

  123. Hi Rachel!
    I just wanted to share something to put a smile on your face…my mom is a list person too and she admitted to me that sometimes she puts things on her list that she already completed just to have items crossed off to make her feel better. too cute!!

    Rachel, I must say to you that YOU ARE FINISHING WELL!!! You have connected to so many women and men and your life has inspired so many. Don’t think that you aren’t finishing well, even when you feel like you’re just simply “waiting”. I know that you will hear “Well done, my good and faithful servant!”. And as someone posted previous…..I’ll be looking forward to having a tea party with you and the multitudes who have been impacted by you! What a time of rejoicing it will be!

    Love, your sister in Christ-
    June Bug

  124. Thank God for you and your story- you have reaffirmed in me my faith in God and my wantingness to get to know him even more-Blessings to your husband and children, may the Lord our God ease your pain and bring you peace…….Thank You

  125. Thank you for putting this update on your list. You are blessing many lives for the glory of God. Love and prayers from the West Coast.
    Love,
    Dani

  126. Thank you so much for this last letter. We think and pray for you often and have been wondering how you were doing. Now we know how to pray even more specifically. We just want you to know that you are loved by so many people that you don’t even know and that you have, are and will continue to impact many for the glory of God, around the world!
    How I wish I could do more for you! But our loving God is in control and we trust in Him.
    Much love,
    Ana

  127. You have giving me insight on how I can improve my mothering skills my friendships and overall realationships with people,and most of all my realationship with Jesus.. I to will try to wait quietly and patiently. God bless you and thank you for being you even though we never met.

  128. Rachel, I have not stopped thinking about you almost daily since I first watched and re-watched you speak at the women’s event in Canada. I love your accent by the way. I also love how God used your whole story in my life. Of late I have been pretty overwhelmed with the “cares of this life” I have 6 kids and the oldest severely handicapped (17) the youngest 4. I’m in an awesome church, have the best husband and great friends. We’ve had big and small trials over the past couple of years and often instead of looking up to Jesus the author and perfecter of my faith, i’ve looked down too much and allowed my emotions and feelings to rule. Your talk was just what I’ve needed to rise up and look up and trust in the everlasting arms. I’m so grateful you shared I’m so inspired to look to Jesus again. Thank you. I am sure you have had this effect on many others and I know this “effect” will be eternal. God bless you Rachel Barkey. You certainly have helped me to re-focus on Jesus once again. Much Much Grace to you and your precious family…..

  129. I think of you often after watching your video. I will continue to pray for you…strength, peace, healing, and finishing well if that is what God ordains. Grace to you.

  130. Rachel, you are walking in victory. You are truly living life! You are not dying. Those apart from Christ are dying! You, my friend are living, and living well!

    I am sorry for physical effects you are dealing with. I felt your pain when you described it. I also look at the effects of cancer everyday, not in the mirror but in the face of my 10 year old son. His bald head (now growing back), his swollen cheeks from steroids, his limp, his endless medications as you mentioned…then I avert my gaze to the face of Christ and cancer loses its grip on my heart.

    We are with you! You are being bathed in prayer. Please know and take comfort in the fact that many of our to do lists will be dramatically altered forever because of your testimony.

    “When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory. “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”

    In His Grip,
    Dawn George
    Cj’ s mom

  131. God has used you to bless me greatly. Thank you for writing, even though it may seem you have little to write about now. Your testimony is a strength and encouragement to me. Also… you’re funny. How awesome (or some might say awkward) that I can smile and even give a bit of a laugh at a letter from someone who is suffering so. You are finishing well and I will continue to pray that you push on with patience. I am also praying for your family as I am sure it is difficult for them to see you endure so much physical pain. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thanks God.
    Amazed,
    Gigi

  132. Rachel, thanks for tackling that To Do list yesterday. Your post touched the heart of many.

    I attended the funeral of a beautiful godly young woman (18) the other day, and what struck me was the HOPE her dad had. He wasn’t able to say goodbye to his beloved daughter, but he knows that some day he will rejoin her.

    Meanwhile, she is free – free from sin, from sorrow, from pain, from the cares of this world. . . safe at home with Jesus.

    I am praising God for you, dear sister in Christ. Your testimony has been used to touch many hearts. You are a living epistle – 2 Cor. 3:2, 3 Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men:3 Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart.

    You are a living epistle – and even when your address changes, you will continue, by your words, to minister to us, by the Spirit of the Living God.

    Blessings and prayers,
    Janet

  133. Hi Rachel, (not sure if Danica already wrote something!?! there were so many comments!)
    Anyways, I love the way you love Jesus. It’s so genuine. No wonder the world is wanting to listen to what you have to say.
    Though I havent seen you or the rest of your family (Sawers) since the Palm Spring days(in the 90s!), I just wanted you to know that our family is praying for you and yours. I consider it an absolute honour to know you, even just a bit.
    Can’t wait to get to know you better in Eternity!

  134. Dear Rachael,
    I just read your update and I must write and tell you that you ARE finishing well! Your updates and your speech have really touched my heart and challenged me in so many ways. Twelve years ago,I began a journey and period of the Lord’s refinement when I spent almost 3 years in a hospital bed recovering from a near-fatal car accident. I had many reconstructive orthopedic surgeries on my legs from which I still today am handicapped from and live in constant pain. I understand what it’s like to be in bed and have young children. (My 3 sons were 3, 4 1/2, and 6 yrs. old when our accident occurred.) I also know what it’s like to wait to take your next dose of pain medication and to lay there an wait for my husband to bring the boys home from an outing that I so much wanted to go on with them. Rachel, you ARE finishing well! I pray for you and your family faithfully and will continue to. It’s intercessory prayer that brought me through my 3 years of suffering and will bring you through yours. I wish I could do more for you, but I know from experience that it’s the best I can do.
    Love & Prayers,
    Sheila Myers
    FEBC Missionary, Saipan

  135. Dear Rachel

    I watched your video today, I couldn’t stop crying. Thanks so much for sharing. I’ve been going through a very difficult period for nearly 2 years now. I’m still trying to know and understand our Lord. Sometimes it is 1 step forward and 2 steps backwards.

    God bless you. He has given you much strength. Thank you.

    Hannah

  136. Hi Rachel..Im Rebekah from Northern Ireland..I just wanted you to know that across the miles there are a group of young girls praying for you and your family. We are a group of students studying in Edinburgh and we wanted to thankyou. Your story,your faith have taught us so much.You are a true inspiration. Thankyou for your example, for your love for Jesus..Thankyou for pointing us to Him, for teaching us the importance of knowing Him and sharing Him. Thankyou for sharing your wisdom and life experiences with us. We look forward to meeting you in eternity,only then will you see the impact you have had on our lives.
    We praise the Lord for you,your life and your testimony.
    Thankyou for loving Jesus the way you do…
    All our love,hugs and prayers
    New Johns Girls, Edinburgh

  137. Rachel,

    Been watching and waiting for an update. Thrilled to see you were able to post one. praying… Yesterday, I was talking with a girl at church who had listened to your talk Death Is Not Dying. She was telling me how much it had touched her. I sent it out to many women.
    It truly touched me, too. From here on out, I will never have far from my thoughts>…Know God – Know Yourself – Know the Gospel – Know Your Purpose. Thank you.
    When I had a frustration pop up a couple of weekends ago that I had NO control over, I thought of you. It made the level of that challenge simply melt into the ground.
    I told myself, I deserved infinitely worse than what I was going through. Your message will continue to impact me,…and many others I am sure. God has used you and will do so every time someone listens to your testimony. God bless you with His grace and His comfort and His undeniable presence felt by those who have that intimate bond and cherished relationship with their Redeemer.
    Thank you for updating your sisters who are thinking of you and praying!

    Your sis in Christ,
    Julie

  138. Rachel, I just watched your video (link via Conversion Diary). Your God-given grace and eloquence is simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing your journey. Breast cancer has been shouting loudly these last six months — a personal scare, a dear friend’s double mastectomy and hospice called in for a neighbor. The peace and unshakeable faith of these women, including you, makes them my earthly heroes and increases my personal faith in the one true Hero. Blessings to you and your dear family.

  139. Hello! I wanted to share with you that I love reading everyone’s response to your latest update. Thank you for sharing with us. I would like you to take notice of the most important item on your checklist…

    - Trusting God in your trial & making Christ known to the world.

    You are doing just that & doing it with much faith. How can we not be affected? We are all waiting with glorious hope! Steadfast in prayer…Mari

  140. Today, your video and testimony has blessed 70 Children and staff at Life Christian Academy in Ottawa. We will place on our To- Do List to pray for you and your family.

    Thank You for your strength!!!

    With Love and Kindness,

    The Staff and students of Life Christian Academy.

  141. I also love lists Rachel. So much so I am very picky about what pen/marker and paper/journal I use. Right now I am hooked on “Ultra Fine Point” Sharpie markers and of course have always loved Moleskin Journals (They are truly the only way to go). Anyway, thought I would share my love for lists and fine stationary. We prayed for you and the family this morning at prayer meeting.

    ~Chad

  142. Dearest Rachel ~ My sister in the Lord ~

    Although I don’t know you “in person”, I know your heart. I love you and I will look forward to meeting you and knowing you in heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!

    All the words of your message “Death is not Dying” are true and they filled me with great hope and encouragement as I walk in faith…….. in the assurance of things hoped for and in the conviction of things not seen.

    Soon you will step out of the shadows and into the full brilliance of daylight and a never-ending eternity with our precious Lord and Saviour, Jesus!!!!!! Hallelujah!!!!!!!!
    Until then I am praying Hebrews 10 for you, Neil, Quinn, and little “Queen Kate”, that you would continue to hold fast the confession of your hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful;…… For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised. For yet in a very little while, He who is coming will come, and will not delay. BUT MY RIGHTEOUS ONE SHALL LIVE BY FAITH;
    ………. We are not of those who shrink back to destruction, but of those who have faith to the preserving of the soul.
    You are fighting the good fight and your faith is a shining testimony, a burning beacon to God’s truth, dear Rachel.
    You and your family are in my prayers always!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Soli Deo Gloria,
    Stephanie Baker

  143. Dear Rachel
    I was once a nanny for a young family who had lost their mother to cancer, the children were 2, 6 and 10.
    Please believe me when i say your children will be fine, they will grieve deeply but children have the enviable ability to forget the bad and only remember the good.
    They were all with their mum at the end and they all now (they are now adults) remember it as a very peacful and natural experience which they are very glad to have been involved in.
    They were very much involved in church and had God in their lives and this gave them so much comfort through the hard days as i am sure it will your family.
    I have never been a religious person though i have ‘flirted’ with religion throughout my life but have recently been feeling very close to God and your testimony only strengthened my feelings.
    I am now in the process of developing my relationship with God and i have you to thank for that.
    God bless you Rachel and your family.

  144. Thank you for sharing this personal and brutally painful journey with all of us. I am touched by your ability to still find humor in the ugliness of the cancer. Due to the wonders of the web, your testimony is touching more people than you probably ever imagined. I pray for you as you wait…

  145. I’ve been praying for you today.

    Waiting with you. SOon and very soon we are going to see our KING!

    Sheila in AZ

  146. Rachel,
    I have never read your blog before today, but it has really touched my heart, you are so honest and open. We have just sadly had this with my Grandfather, who didn’t speak of how he felt to us, didn’t talk about the pain, so we had no idea how he was thinking or feeling, so to hear you sum it up, has helped immensely.

    This post has rang true with me today. I complain so often that I never get to the end of my To-Do list…well no more, I should be grateful that I have lots “to do” still.

    As someone who has been left behind so recently, the things that are keeping us going are the strength of my Grandfather, the fantastic memories and just knowing how much he loved us all. Do not fear for your loved ones, you have already given them everything they need to cope.

    I believe in many different things, and the after life is one of them, so although they may not be able to see you, you will always be there watching them.

    God bless you, I pray that you do not have so much pain in the next few weeks/months xxx

  147. Rachel, hello!
    I’m about to cry…again! I just saw the video today of your presentation. I was taken in right away & couldn’t pull myself away as you shared from the depths of your heart. Your speech was amazing, challenging, sad, encouraging…I could go on & on. I wrote down several quotes you shared to continue challenging me. Many thoughts are still in my heart & mind; I will never forget them & always strive to become a less me-centered person. Thank you for being used by God up until the very end. Truly you will be greeted by God’s smiling face as He says, “Well done, thou good & faithful servant!”
    Continue on in God’s strength as you wait,
    Joanna

  148. I’m praying Ephesians 3 for you. May you know the height and breadth and depth of His love in amazing ways every single day!
    Carol

  149. Hey there Mrs. Rachel and family :) …I do not want to waste your time…I am sitting here just overwhelmed by the love and strength of God manifested in your life. I am humbled beyond words. I pray that you each would know that God has and I believe will continue to use you to reflect the splendor of His glory in a beautiful way. “The Righteous are as bold as a Lion” Proverbs 28:1 – that is what your life says and also “To live is Christ and to die is gain” Philippians 1:21. Please hear my heart when I say…thank you for expressing this with your life as God in His infinite Love and Wisdom has chosen to take you deep with HIM. As crazy as this might sound…if you or your family ever need anything please do not hesitate to contact me and family. God bless.
    YBIC
    Keith
    “God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him”

  150. Rachel,

    I respect and admire your strength, and I pray for you. I really enjoyed our time working together.

    God bless.

    -Hamish

  151. I do not technically “know” you, Rachel….but you have changed my life! I will be eternally grateful for you and your story and your life. I heard about you through a friend of mine from high school, Jen, and watched your video/read your site. I have been so touched and amazed by the strength God has given you. You have helped me see my faults as a mother; you’ve helped me to see my insufficiencies as Christ’s child. You, through Christ, are responsible for my newfound connection to the church. I have been a Christian and child of God since I was 9…but strayed for a while. due to inconvenience…Because of you I will think twice when I don’t want to get up to get my daughters a sippie cup while working on the computer…that really hit home…but it’s more than that. Death is upon all of us and I know that each day is a gift from God. I can only hope that my life will impact others as your’s has. You are amazing and your story and your spirit will live on. I pray for you daily and will continue to think of you and your family. There are no words worthy. I love you.

  152. Rachel,

    I can’t imagine how I would feel nor what I would do if I were in your shoes. You are so strong to get on here and write updates. Thank you for hanging on to God as you do and give us all a glimpse of finishing well. Your children are fortunate to have a mother like you.

    Praying that God may carry you as you wait, that he may comfort and encourage you and your loved ones, that you may feel his love surround you through the tough moments and that he may give you many special moments with your loved ones.

    Love in Christ,
    Alexa

  153. Dearest Rachel,

    I’m sure you know this verse by heart but I’ll still share it anyway:

    Romans 8:28

    We know that all things work for the good to them that love God … to them who are called according to His purpose.

    May the Lord continue to keep you daily in His strength and love as you wait to see Him soon. Wish I can say more to make everything easier but God is more than able to sustain you during this time.

    Thank you for the update and although we do not know each other we share the same bond and that is a life SAVED ONLY BY CHRIST’S ATONING SACRIFICE.

    Your sister in Christ,
    Georgia
    (Fresno)

  154. rachel,

    im so touched by your words. you have made me become a better mother, better wife and more so a stronger believer in christ. my questions to god have been answered through you, and i thank you for that, and thank him for setting you in my path. you have had an impact on my life and i will never forget you and what i have learned through you. my heart goes out to you and your family, and you will always be in my prayers. god bless your heart, may he continue to watch over you and your family and give you peace of mind. im no longer scared for what comes next, thank you…

  155. Dear Rachael: Thank you for your powerful testimony!God is using the circumstances of your life for His glory! My neighbour was just diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and as I shared the saving faith of the Lord Jesus Christ with her, I also wrote down the site deathisnotdying…….I am praying for her salvation. I will be praying that you finish the race strong and that you and your family will have a peace that only cometh from the power of Savior. Blessings my dear …Ruth

  156. Rachel , thank you so much for letting us know how you are now. Even an update of a few words will be
    greatly appreciated and eagerly read by thousands who have been deeply touched by your testimony.

    ” Great is our Lord , and of great power : his understanding is infinite ” ( Psalm 147 : 5 )

    The Lord continue to uphold you and your dear husband and children

  157. Rachel, the Lord has blessed me with your testimony, He has humbled me with your humility in Christ and made me shameful of the way I often live so selfishly. May we one day meet in ‘the land which is fairer than day’, which we can only see by faith.

    In His Sovereign grace and love,
    Lois
    (Singapore)

  158. Dear Rachel,

    You ARE finishing well! All you have touched are so blessed. God is pleased with you and will always give you the strength you need at the very moment you need it. Keep up the patient waiting.

    Susan

  159. Dear Rachel,
    I thank God for your wonderful courage and testimony.
    May he give you comfort and peace in your heart, and surround u with love. You are never alone.
    may i suggest this booK which sounds rather morbid but actually is very good:
    ‘One minute after you die’ by Erwin W Lutzer.
    It was a comfort to me after my mum died, and I recommended it to the friend who recommended me to your website.
    If u can, please add it to your to-do list (maybe get someone to read it to you if you don’t have the energy to read)

  160. I watched your talk last night. It really had a huge impact on me. I am a christian but I wasn’t serving my husband and my two kids with joy(as you mentioned in your talk).Last night I prayed that God will let me serve my family with joy and today as I was still thinking about all the things you said in your testimony,I prayed for the healing hand of God to heal you.

  161. You are finishing well. Your testimony is traveling the world – the WORLD. You’ll never know how many people are seeing God’s grace and glory in you. Thank you for sharing this extremely personal experience.

    I am praying for you and your family. For strength, comfort and peace. I’m also praying that God will be glorified through you. I rarely understand it and I often don’t like it, but I KNOW his plan is perfect.

  162. Ironically your latest update came on my Dad’s 70th birthday…he is a cynical “truth seeker” (his words:) who has not yet accepted Jesus as his Savior…my sister and I have been working on him for years!

    We watched your video in our small group last Friday & I decided that my gift to him would be your testimony…I’ve never heard it said better. Guess what? For the first time I can almost see his heart softening…he’s listening! Thank you for sharing your story…I thank God for you and am praying for you and your family. You’re truly a blessing…

  163. Thank you so much for your honesty, humour and courage and for sharing the truth about Jesus so clearly. Thank you for showing us an example of what running well and finishing well can look like. Trusting that our kind God will bring to completion the work he began in you. By his grace and for his glory.
    Your sister in Christ, Jo (Chile)

  164. Rachel,

    I hope you had a better day today. Thank you for sharing! Your talk gave me encouragement and direction to share God with our kids. Our son was asking lots of questions about God this morning. We’ve been reading the bible together every morning. I told the kids that every day we need to learn more so we can know God, know ourselves, know the gospel and know our purpose. It’s changing our lives. Thank you. And thank you for sharing about staying faithful to the end. We’re praying for you.

  165. Praying for you as you seek to finish well. Also praying for your husband and sweet children. What an encouragement and beautiful rebuke your testimony is to me and SO many others.
    Love from your sister down in New Zealand, Chantelle

  166. Lists….me too! I understand that obsession!
    I’m praying for a comfortable day for you Rachel.
    BIG HUGS!!

  167. Dear Rachel,
    We haven’t met, but I have learned about you and your story through my good friend, Moira. As I watch your video and read your letters I am saddened by your situation, and am struck by your calmness and courage. You are an inspiration. You helped to change my perspective when in your last entry you wrote about how you “got to” take the kids to art class and “got to” go grocery shopping. So many times as mothers we say “I have to”…thank you for reminding me to be grateful and reminding me to be present and mindful. You are a beautiful woman with a beautiful spirit. Thank you for sharing your story. You and your family are in my prayers.
    Brenda

  168. Dear Rachel,
    I have been praying, dear sister in Christ, for you and your family. I have prayed miracles and peace, God’s will and yours. It seems now, that He is calling you to a higher healing and I know you will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well. ( I am paraphrasing here.) I think often of Lady Julian of Norwich, another sister in Christ.
    I am very moved with your description of waiting, and of finishing well. I will always remember you, and will look forward to meeting you with the rest of the saints. Think of it. I pray more time for you, peace and comfort, and for your pain to leave. I pray for your loved ones. Bless you dear one, in Christ Jesus.
    Love, Katie Richter.

  169. Dear Rachel,
    “Know your purpose is to serve and glorify God.” That line in your talk changed me forever. Finish? You created a beginning. For those of us who are searching for purpose, what a relief it is to realize that our roles or accomplishments do not define us. I know about 100 people have written this before me, but I am praying for you and your family. During your greatest personal challege you managed to give others a wonderful gift of focus. Please mark “Make a difference in the world” off your list. I will remember the way you witness your faith, and I will tell others.
    Sincerely,
    Loren Christie -NY

  170. I feel like I wake up everymorning with you.
    I wonder what you’re doing now and how you’re feeling how everymoment.
    So this update is like spring water to me.
    I can’t even imagine what you’re going through now, but I pray for you and your family in Korea here.

  171. Dear Rachel, my husband found your video online tonight and we watched it. We were so captivated by your story, and so incouraged by you endless love for our Lord! You’re a true soldier for Christ. God truly has a mission and high calling upon your life. You’ve been willing to be an open vessel for God to pour Himself in so that you can pour Him into others. Rachel, keep the faith, and know that no matter how everything plays out, Our savior never fails… He loves you more than you could ever imagine and listens to your every frustration and bottles every tear you cry. You’re in my prayers… You’re doing such an awesome work for our Lord… :) I deeply appreciate your faithfulness and obediance to God

  172. Dearest Rachel,

    I praise God for you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your faith and boldness during this time, You have blessed me so much with your simple and true words of trust in Christ. He is the only unshakable one I know. I have been sharing your testimony far and wide and I hope you know that Christ’s name is being lifted on high through your weakness.

    I will see you in the New Jerusalem.

    Regina

  173. Thank you, Rachel, for you openness. It’s helped me focus on what is important and reminded me to make the most of each new day. A friend of mine here in Belgium sent me the link to your website so I shall be praying for you and your family. I pray that you’ll know God as your constant visitor by your bedside.
    You are all in my thoughts, daily.
    Clare – Belgium

  174. Rachel,
    Thank you for continuing to share what the Lord is doing with and through you.. Thank the Lord for the internet that your message of hope can be spread so broadly. This is one virus that I hope everyone gets!! :)
    I am waiting with you and praying while we wait.
    ps. I hope you like all things shiny and bright…I hear that is the latest fashion in the heavenlies! :)

  175. I smile. I sigh. My eyes mist up and I remember…

    Oh rest in the Lord. Wait patiently for Him and He shall give you your heart’s desires. (not actually in the Bible, but a beautiful song.)

    This one IS in the Bible:
    Psalm 40:1 I waited patiently for the Lord and He inclined His ear to me and heard my cry.

    Quite a promise, eh? Know that while you are “waiting patiently”, others are watching and being challenged and encouraged by your life…and by your death, too.

    ***hugs*** from Mexico.

  176. Rachel,
    I am a doer too and not a good “waiter”. I do to get it done and “fix” it. God has used you to help me realize that better and to ask for His help so I will fully depend on Him. Your life is being used of God in many different ways. Thank you!

  177. Dear Rachel,
    Your words and honesty have inspired me. When I watched the video I cried and laughed with you. I will keep this video as an encouragement and constant reminder. I have had many struggles as well. I dealt with Post Partum Depression like Nadine and was suicidal. By the Grace of God 20 years have passed since then and I am now 42 years old and serving the Lord, but not always with Joy and this message to me was a reminder of my purpose, to serve with Joy. Thank you for standing forward even when you are in such pain and preaching the good news of Jesus either to someone for the first time or like me to remind me of my purpose. I live in PA and I am sending to my friends in Georgia and Florida to spread the word. What an awesome testimony for Jesus Christ. May many be saved through this!

    P.S. I also had a dear friend, Elaine, who was my mentor and encourager. She passed on last year of fighting breast cancer for 15 years. One thing I never forgot is her faithfulness as a friend and the lesson of encouragement to others. Many will remember you!

  178. Rachel, How insignificant are my little problems in comparison. May I never forget the joy to serve and to finish strong. Glory to God. Thank you for sharing.

  179. No words…praying for peace for you and yours. :(

  180. Dear Rachel, my name is Karen Grigolato but it used to be Karen Smith, but to some friends in high school I was known as Smithy. I happened upon your website by chance and I sit here with tears in my eyes. You are and always have been an incredible woman and God has used you to bless so many including me.
    My prayers are with you.

  181. Rachel, you were one of my heroes growing up. I use to watch you play basketball at MEI and think, someday, I want to play like her! I have been praying for you since finding out that the cancer has returned, and I just wanted to share with you what the Lord put on my heart for you. I have been claiming Psalms 91 over you ( I would type the whole chapter out, but it’s kinda long). I would encourage you to read it if you haven’t. Another prayer that the Lord put on my heart is “Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” There is no sickness in heaven, no cancer. So my prayer is, as it is in heaven, so it shall be here on earth for you. Life, Health, Wholeness…Long Life (Psalms 91). Yes, it’s obvious, you need a miracle, and I believe you will have it…I encourage you to HOLD ON to His promises for you, here on earth!

  182. Dearest Rachel It is so awesome how God is sovereign even over modern technology. I have shared a podcast of your testimony with so many friends here in South Africa – your testimony is having a profound influence everywhere. i pray the Lord will coninue to strengthen and uphold you – Romans 8:37-39. You are leaving the most wonderful legacy for your kids even though it is so painfully hard for your family.

  183. may your testimony encourage many arround this world who feel helpless and down , what a great previlege for us to have a hope in waiting to live in eternity with our Lord after our physical seperation , may the lord grant your family the grace and strenght to help you go through this moment for the glory of God’s name

  184. I have been meaning to write to you ever since I heard your message. The Lord used it to challenge and encourage me, and I’ve since passed it along to others. I’m also a to-do list person, so this article was wonderful to read. I’d like to echo the comments of Olwyn McGill in saying that you are leaving an invaluable legacy for your children, and that alone is something we should all have on our to-do lists as moms. My mom passed away when I was 11 (breast cancer), and I don’t think she was a believer. She left me many blessings, like money for college and some good personality traits, and the Lord graciously provided several spiritual mothers in my life. But you are leaving your kids something that will last far beyond your years, no matter how many the Lord has for you- a life lived passionately for Jesus Christ. Thanks for letting it be known to more than just your family. May God continue to give you encouragement from His Word.

  185. Hello Rachel-

    I just heard about your story and watched your presentation today. The tears came as you spoke so honestly about your flesh fighting against what is happening to you. You put things into words today that I have not been able to express. Although we are not fighting the same battle in this life, we are waging the same war against the flesh and that hit me hard today. You are pointing people to Jesus and I am so grateful for that. I will be praying for you in the days ahead, and also for your family. I can’t wait to meet you in Heaven!!!

  186. Hello Rachel,

    A good friend of mine referred me to the video on your website a few weeks ago. Since then, I have listened to your inspirational video, read your letters and referred to your booklist. Through your message, I am once again reminded that our home is in heaven and that we will reunite with our loved ones there someday. After one of my triplets went home to be with the Lord at 8 months old when she lost the battle to a rare blood disorder almost 2 years ago, my faith has been tested greatly. But through the Word, pastors’ counseling, and invaluable support from friends/family, I am rebuilding and redefining my relationship with the Lord. And I am so grateful to you for sharing your story which also helps me with this rebuilding process. Thank you, Rachel. Please know that you and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  187. Dear Rachel,

    As I read your recent update I was impressed by our Lord with the thought that more is being done through you than you realize. You are sharing your life with many who you do not know. Be encouraged that you are laboring for the Lord as you share your struggles, your need for the Savior, and the desire of your heart to finish well. What a lasting impression you leave for your children as you acknowledge the One who is your source of stength each step of the way. It is my prayer that these words from Isaiah 65 will encourage you and that you will trust that God is not finished with you at this time, He is touching many lives through yours!

    “For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth, and the former things shall not be remembered or come into mind.
    But be glad and rejoice forever in that which I create; for behold, I create Jerusalem to be a joy, and her people to be a gladness.
    I will rejoice in Jerusalem and be glad in my people; no more shall be heard in it the sound of weeping and the cry of distress.
    No more shall there be in it an infant who lives but a few days, or an old man who does not fill out his days, for the young man sahll die a hundred years old, and the sinner a hundred years old shall be accursed.
    They shall build houses and inhabit them; they shall plant vineyards and eat thier fruit.
    They shall not build and another inhabit; they shall not plant and another eat; for like the days of a tree shall the days of my people be, an my chosen shall long enjoy the work of thier hands.
    They shall not labor in vain or bear children for calamity, for they shall be offspring of the blessed of the Lord, and thier decendants with them.
    Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear.

    The Lord hears the prayers of your heart Rachel, and your labors for Him is not in vain. You are finishing well!

    ~Kimberly

  188. Dear Rachel, Praying for you. May you know the grace of our wonderful, loving heavenly Father, more and more each day as you wait upon Him.

    2Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

    I hope this old hymn by Annie Johnson Flint, will bless you

    He Giveth More Grace

    He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
    He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
    To added affliction He addeth His mercy;
    To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

    When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
    When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
    When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
    Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

    Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
    Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
    Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
    The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

    His love has no limit; His grace has no measure.
    His pow’r has no boundary known unto men;
    For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
    He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again!

    Annie Johnson Flint

    found with others at:
    http://blessedquietness.com/journal/homemake/annie.htm

  189. Rachel,
    Will faithfully pray for your waiting.
    This year, I studied the life of Moses. One thing that was a real struggle for me that I took away from his life was that we may not get our happily-ever-after, on this side. I was mad on his behalf, that for (what seemed like) simply losing his temper w/a bunch of ingrates he was not allowed to enter the promised land. Our leader of the study graciously pointed out that we could be assured that he was not sitting around on the Mt. of Transfiguration w/Jesus and Elijah wishing he could have crossed that Jordan river.
    Your life certainly conjures those same emotions and I will not stop asking God for your healing, but also am comforted in His wise, much (much) higher thoughts than my own and thankful that He has allowed you to be comforted by His high ways.
    Thank you for sharing so intimately w/all of us. I look forward to meeting you some day. …Share a lot in common w/you… Star follower (guilty pleasure), worked in politics turned stay at home mom, and can’t stand smelly smells.=)
    May His lavished love be felt every day for you, your sweet babies and that dear husband.

  190. thank you for your honesty. GOD has blessed us all with each moment we have here. i want to treasure them all savor each breath, because i know that i too am dying, but i won’t be dead. i have not been diagnosed with anything and am healthy as far as i know, but we are all headed to that destination one day. because GOD saw fit to lead me to your video i have a fresh outlook on living more so than dying. i want to thank you for opening my eyes to see that it is all about how you live not what kills you. JESUS is all in all. i am going to teach my children to know GOD, know themselves, know GOD’s word, and know their purpose here…which is to know GOD. rest as you wait. rest in his love and in the knowledge that he has graced you with. rest in his peace here and when you see JESUS i pray you know it was worth the waiting.

  191. Rachel,

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story. I can not begin to imagine what you and your family are dealing with on a daily basis. Your strength and faith are an inspiration to many. You will be in my thoughts and prayers every day. You are finishing well my friend!

    With love and prayer….

  192. It saddens me too see so little left on your to do list, so I decided to come up with one for you.

    TO DO: read, or have some one read to you “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn. My hope is that you will see how exciting heaven is, and that you can smile at least one last time on this Earth, knowing that the best part of life is still to come.

    Thank you for sharing your story with the world. I already know that this has happened for good, because of the responses I have read about and seen. You will be missed and mourned by many people, and I’m sure that while your in heaven, believers will randomly come up and hug you, and thank you for the blessing your life has been on them.

  193. Rachel, I just got off a cruise and met a lady w/ brain cancer who was told she has a few months to live. It would have been most sad unless I had heard her keep saying “The Lord” and so I got to talk w/ her and she is a believer in Jesus. She was a blessing to me and and a reminder to keep what is important in focus every day. On this cruise I was w/ my family and shared the Gospel of Jesus every day w/ people from many places. I thank God for your testimony. He is so great and so merciful to save a wretch as me. Blessings, Betty

  194. Rachel, God fills my heart for you and your family. Jesus has me pray for comfort of your mind as well as your body. I pray that you feel Gods hand on you 24/7. It makes it easier and less scary to endure the wait when you can feel God there.

  195. My friend Ana posted a link to your site saying how she is thinking of you. I read the post from April. I do not know you, but I want you to know that you are touching many people by what you are doing. More than you realize. You have a really great attitude. I came across this several times on the web and wanted to forward to you.
    http://www.healingcancernaturally.com/budwig_protocol.html

  196. Dear Rachel,
    You have been heavy on my heart since I met you on your blog, I am continually praying for you. You don’t know me but I just want to THANK YOU for your ministry. God has been using you in a mighty way!!! By sharing your heart you have been teaching and encouraging me to fulfill my calling with joy and confidence.
    I thought a bit of my story would illustrate what I mean by the above. I was diagnosed with Multiple Scleroses at 18 which has been a fairly slowly progressive type. Shortly after, God blessed be with an awesome husband and 3 wonderful children. As a result of a difficult birth our 2nd daughter has mild cerebral palsy. The children are almost grown 18,16 and 10 and I am 39. Last year I had a large tumor removed from my ovary and was diagnosed with a rare form of ovarian cancer. Nine months passed and it came back with a fury. May 4 of this year they removed 3 tumors (like 2 grapefruits and an orange) and did a total hysterectomy. I am now in full medical menopause having the lovely hot flashes and night sweats that come with it  This Friday I go to see my oncologist/gynecologist to get the results of the biopsy and the plan for future treatment. Am I scared of what I will hear, Yes but I am also more than confident that God is with me. Every molecule in this universe down to every cell in my body is safely and totally in the control of His loving hand. I also know that He has given me the calling or vocation(like RC Sproul says) of cancer at this point in my walk. What an awesome thought that the creator/sustainer, King of the universe summoned puny little me to do this job. There is no such thing as mistakes, bad luck etc., I am not a statistic or a number, I am on a mission to show off His glory!!! And to add to that (if that’s possible) He promised that whatever He calls us to, He will give us the strength and courage to fulfill it. Rachel, that is what your life is, not only to us on this earth but to the angels and heavenly host that are intently watching.
    Now getting back to earth were I live and struggle to keep my eyes on Jesus, my flesh tells me I am fine now but wait till you get really sick, then you won’t be able to be faithful and finish well. But Rachel God has used you as a living testament to prove once again that He will never leave us or forsake us. Keep trusting…and somehow, mysteriously through everything He brings you through He will get ALL THE GLORY!!!

    Love, Your sister in Christ
    Miriam

  197. Hi, I know I’m a total stranger, but a friend gave me this link and I wanted to let you know we’re praying for you. I was doing my devotions this morning and came across this verse, Romans 12:12 “…rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer…” and thought it was so timely. So that’s what my husband and I prayed for you this morning. Even though we’re total strangers, just wanted you to know we’re praying for you and rejoicing in your boldness and courage that the Lord has given you to give glory to Himself.
    - Becca in Los Angeles

  198. Rachel,
    On Jan. 5 my ninth child, whom we knew would not be w/ us long, passed away shortly before he was born. I remember the waiting beforehand…it felt like an ‘out of body’ experience, almost unreal. As my grip on “my” son was loosened, I began to look fully in the face of Christ. Was He really enough? I wasn’t so sure any more. He showed me that He was. And He is. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your heart with the world before you go Home. I am so sad for you and so happy for you. You have encouraged my bitter heart.
    Love,
    Ruth

  199. I sent you a link to a blog that was kept by another young lady that recently died of cancer. Her moto was: either way, I win! Please let this also be your moto!

  200. Rachel,
    I absolutely appreciate your words about waiting patiently and enduring well during this time, for as long as the Lord has for you. Our God is magnified in your faithful walk and it is very kind of you and God-glorifying to share His work in your heart and life, even if just a small glimpse. Wow, I’m reminded of how ravishing the effects of sin are in the world–in our hearts, minds, and bodies, but praise be to God for His victory over sin and death on the Cross through Christ. You’re a beautiful bride waiting for her Bridegroom to come. Thanks be to God for His work in you!!! Love you, sister!

  201. Rachel,

    A poem for you. I don’t know the source. But I pass it onto you with my love and prayers.
    Meredith

     

    Child of My love, lean hard,
    And let Me feel the pressure of thy care,
    I know thy burden, child; I shaped it,
    Poised in Mine own hand, made no proportion
    In its weight to thine unaided strength;
    For even as I laid it on I said,
    “I shall be near, and while she leans on Me,
    This burden shall be Mine, not hers;
    So shall I keep My child within the circling arms,
    Of Mine own love.” Here lay it down, nor fear
    To impose it on a shoulder which upholds
    The government of worlds. Yet closer come,
    Thou art not near enough; I would embrace thy care,
    So I might feel My child reposing on My breast.
    Thou lovest me? I know it. Doubt not, then,
    But, loving Me, lean hard.

     

    Source unknown

  202. Hi Rachel,

    Still here. I remain in thought and prayer for Neil and your children. I won’t stop. I won’t quit. I won’t. I was called.
    Brother Brian

  203. Hi Rachel – Thanks for posting… you are a true blessing. Love to you & your beautiful family!
    Vijay

  204. Rachel, I don’t know how or if you find the time to read these comments, but I’ll add mine just in case. Just because I feel these letters and your video deserve some kind of response. Thank you for speaking, thank you for sharing what you’re learning as you wait to die. It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around the reality you’re living, even as I know we all face death someday, maybe sooner than we think. I am the mother of a two-year-old son and it’s your comments about motherhood that get me the most. So, I will pray that you’re able to hold on and cherish each moment you have with your children. I’ll pray that your pain never steals the time you have with them. I’ll pray you are able to impart to them everything you want to impart before your gone, and that you’re able to trust God with anything you run out of time to share. I’ll pray for your husband and children, for strength and peace and hope and good things to come. And I’ll pray that people’s lives are changed in a lasting way through your message: that nothing defines us but our relationship with Christ Jesus. Thank you for reminding me.
    When you get There, just imagine!, He will wipe away all your tears.

  205. I saw your talk. Felt devastated for you and your family. Wasn’t planning on ever commenting. I just wanted to check in on you from time to time and pray for you. Today, I couldn’t conduct my usual quick check-in and move on. Here’s the deal.

    I’ve grappled deeply all my life with the issue of human suffering. I dwell on it frequently. When I do, my chest feels heavy and my eyes sting. Life is precious and sweet — and it is crushing and harsh. I always come to the same conclusion. I MUST cultivate an eternal perspective — or else curl up in a corner and bawl my eyes out. I tend to go back and forth – from “eternal perspective” to “curled up in a corner.”

    I greatly desire for an “eternal perspective” to become my overriding mindset. The Lord is getting me there. It seems He has done a good work in you in that regard, hence the banner over your life: “Death is not dying.” Jesus said pretty much the same thing in the book of John (ch. 11) “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.”

    It is a blessing and an honor to gain a glimpse into God’s work in another believer. Thank you for willingly opening that window to us. We are “eternally” grateful.

  206. You are living well. I see Jesus.

  207. Rachel: Barb and I are thinking of you. Your strength is admirable.

  208. You must be amazed by the number of people following your footsteps. I think about your children..how one day they will get to know their mother in such a different way. We typically aren’t privy to parental insight and depth as emotional beings – your journaling will bring them solace and connectedness to the beauty of your Spirit as you share raw honesty and truth. Many unlikely friends are meeting and sharing along your path – learning to live more authentically – I stumbled acrosss your path…its clear, you and your family are loved, blessed and embraced by many. I’ll hold your story, your lesson close within my heart.
    God Bless.
    Deb

  209. Dear Rachel I follow your mails since 6 weeks. You have given me so much strenght and everything you say is the TRUTH. I send your mail to quite some friends and here in the Netherlands we are touched by your courage. We pray for you and know that one day we will meet!

    Love from Holland, God bless you and your family

  210. Dear Rachel,
    You are such a blessing. I will never forget you and I will share you as often as possible. You have a great testimony and I am so thankful that you have shared this part of your life with me. I am hopeful and praying. You mean a lot to us.
    I emailed your church that they should put your testimony on YouTube and Tangle so that it can be seen by millions of people. I believe that will increase the sales and revenue for your church. It will be a great gift.
    I remain hopeful and praying,
    Love and prayers,
    Elizabeth L Carey

  211. I remember the days when we did gymnastics together as little girls, hung out in your tree house and of course raced down the zip line to get there! How my heart aches for you and your family and yet I know and believe that “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways”, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8,9
    Thank you for sharing your story- I have been humbled and inspired to be a better mother, wife and christian as well as passed it along to many non believing mom’s at school.
    Continually praying for you 4,
    Tania Schulz (Peters)

  212. Dear Rachel, praying, praying, praying for you down here in Alabama…I love knowing I have a sister in Christ in Canada that is making such a difference in so many lives. Someday we will meet face to face!
    With Love, Janet

  213. I have thought about you a lot since I heard of you. Our Lord is all knowing. Today during the message at church the Lord spoke a message to me. I will write it down at some point (I’m VERY procrastinistic!) but till then I wanted to share it with you. It is a cliche that trials and tribulations draw us closer to the Lord! BUT IT IS TRUE!! When things are easy we tend to wander. When finances are in check and health isn’t worrisome we don’t go to Jesus in prayer as often. Our time with Him dwindles. Is there anything as important as our time with God?? It grieves my heart that in times of health, and freedom I have forgotten my first love; and it is only in the valleys that I seem to seek Him. WHY! Jesus tells the rich man to sell all he has and give it to the poor in order to have a relationship with Him. The rich man’s comfort level needed to be eradicated in order for him to NEED Jesus. My husband is a worship leader, needless to say, our finances are often in dire straights. This used to be a source of contention for me. I would argue with God about it. Struggle with loving my husband through it, and yet I am called to this place again and again. And now I see a reason for it. Your health fails and as you draw closer to the Lord physically I pray for you to draw nearer spiritually. And I pray this for you family. I am praying for you constantly and sharing your story as a reminder to cherish our life, and marriage, and children. THANK YOU for speaking in public despite being uncomfortable.. the Lord is using your words for His glory.

  214. still praying for you rachel…for God to thoroughly use your life and death to touch hearts for eternity. oh, the treasures in heaven…you are building a stockpile!! Keep running! Keep your eyes on the Prize! May He give you a glimpse of the great cloud of witnesses cheering you on. They are there. and He is rejoicing over you, sweet sister, with singing!

  215. Hello Rachel, This is Grace.
    I am 15 years old, and I have just heard your testimony.
    Your testimony is beautiful. Your testimony has touched me. It feels like the Lord is speaking through you.. to me. you will be on my prayer tonight .. also whenever I remember to pray for you. Just wait till you get to heaven.. and your eternal life will be full of joy.. and full of good things.
    Thank you again for the wonderful testimony..
    and .. just keep thanking the Lord for whatever He has done for you.. and just pray :) ( as you know.. )

    Love, Grace.

  216. Hello Rachel,
    I am a Bible Student at Dallas Baptist University in the US.

    One of my Bible professors played your video in class. You will not believe how many people cried (including me) and yet, were encouraged by your testimonial.

    Your message was incredible. Your life will be of great influence to many others and your testimonial will be a beacon of light to the world. The way that you feel is a genuine example of how a Christian should love God.

    I would love to meet you some day, if not on earth, then in heaven.

    Yours in Christ,

    Michael

  217. Dear Rachel,

    I read the transcript of the first part of your testimony today on the Revive Our Hearts website (the second part is scheduled to be broadcast tomorrow) but I simply could not wait till tomorrow to know the rest of it. I came to your website an hour ago and, though my eyes have been filled with tears, my heart and soul have been greatly encouraged and comforted. You are “God’s Masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for you to do.” (Eph. 2:10) One of those good works is to be an encourager to a world that is truly dying. In your battle with terminal cancer, you are learning how to truly live in Christ, hope in Christ, honor Christ, and please Christ. May it be true for the rest of us. I pray that our God of grace will fill you through and through with the fullness of Christ and that you will know Him better and better with each day that passes.

  218. I am humbled and touched by your testimony.

    I pray you finish well.

    I pray for your husband and children.

    I pray and give thanks to God for your life.

    Thank you for letting God use you to transform my heart.

    With much love,

    B.

  219. Just listened to your testimony, the Lord spoke to me through you on many things. You are a blessing to me this day. You are special to the Lord, you are the “apple of His eye”.

  220. Dearest sweet sister in Christ,
    I tuned into Revive our Hearts w/ Nancy Le Demoss this morning. As you started talking-my heart was heavy and tears ran down my face, You see, I knew this was a divine appt- God was speaking to me through yor story. I am a 37 yr old mom of 3 who has been taking life for granted and being so full of self lately. I am needing to take my eyes of me and get them back on the Lord-the creator and sustainer of our lives. Please know the Lord used you to today to speak to a mom who really need to hear, exactly what she need! All to His Glory.
    Your in my prayer,
    Jen

  221. Dear Rachel,

    I was directed to your website by the mother of my best friend. Her daughter (my best friend) passed away six months ago from Metastatic Colon Cancer to the Liver. She has had a very difficult time dealing with the death of her only daughter and was greatly encouraged by your testimony – so much so she called and encouraged me to listen. What a blessing you have been to her heart and to mine today! I thank God for you and your testimony and I pray that He will give you and your family the peace you need for the days ahead. Your words and your faith have encouraged me to be a better wife, mother and Christian and to better prepare myself and my children for the joys that await us in the earth made new. I am soo eager for the day when Jesus will make all things new!

    My prayers are with you and your family,

    Donna

  222. Beloved precious daughter of the most High KING . You are so special . GOD is above and Greater than all.His Authority and Power is in HIM. AND THIS SICKNESS WILL NOT END IN DEATH,NO ,IT IS FOR GOD;S GLORY SOTHAT GODS SON MAY BE GLORIFIED THRO IT. RACHEL I SPEAK LIFE .SPIRIT OF THE LIVING GOD BE UPON U AND OVERSHADOW U. HIS WORD IS ALIVE IN U NOW. AMEN .Ilove u .JESUS LOVES U MOST.

  223. Your testimony is overwhelming and I am ashamed for whining about my little problems and lack of trust. Thank you so much for your following God’s leading to speak, there are so many of us who needed your message of trust no matter what.

  224. Rachel,
    I think I just threw away the invitations to the pity party I was about to have. I feel ashamed of myself. I hate what you are going thru but please know that God is using you. My sister died 1 year and 22 days ago (age 55) of cancer that began as breast cancer. I have sent your information to my niece who is still struggling with her death and the “why’s” of it all.
    You and your family are in my prayers!

  225. I listened to the first half of your testimony this morning on Revive Our Hearts on my long commute to court, and the priorities you talk about are so true. The Me Me Me syndrome is everywhere and focusing on Him instead of on Us is the key. Thank you so much for your wonderful wonderful thoughts and insights. God bless You and thank you for being you.

  226. Rachel,

    Thank you.
    Praise God.

  227. Rachel, I weep for you. The very thought of my child looking at me and reaching his arms out for me to hold him and knowing that you cannot do that… it tears me to pieces Rachel… but, God is the giver of life, he has truly brought us much grace. Without him, who are we to even enjoy life? Without Him Rachel we would never have the least bit of peace especially in a situation such as yours… Rachel… always always our saviour never fails… He knows what hes doing… He knows your names.. He sees your frustation and His plan is perfect for you. We only see with human eyes.. but, God sees the bigger picture… He know whats best… Thank God His peace that passes all understanding…I am praying for you.. you’ve truly been on my heart :)

  228. What can I say that hasn’t already been said? I stand in agreement! Your testimony is a blessing and I hope in return you will be blessed in your waiting. Thank you Rachel. It doesn’t seem to say enough for how grateful I am for your inspiration and faith that you share so graciously. God bless you! May you feel his peace in the waiting as we know he loves you so much!

  229. I Love You – Rachel

  230. I lost my husband. We had a 3 yr old and a 5 yr old. He died suddenly- car wreck…

    I have good news for you. If the LORD takes you home, your kids will be OK. God takes care of everyone, just as He promises. Mine are now 13 and 11, they are fine. I never remarried, it just never happened.

    I’m not alone- Jesus.

    Praying for your husband and kids. Praying for you. You are doing this very well. You bring glory to God.

  231. Rachel,
    I heard you today on Revive Our Hearts and came home tonight to listen to your speech again and visit your website. You are a” true hero”. I’m sure you don’t look at yourself that way so I just had to share that with you. And you are already finishing well. What an awesome testimony of faith you are sharing with so many people. God is Good and yes He is good all the time. Even in the midst of our suffering and tragedies of this life God is good! You have helped me to realize that even more. God is using you to speak to many hearts. I truely believe that. I have sat and weeped for hours and yes I have weeped for you and your family but have also sat here tonight just thanking God for who He is. I am so thankful God waited on me to be saved and thankful each day for the new truths he reveals to me. Today He has used you to teach me so much. Thank you for sharing your life and what you have learned about God. I am going to purchase the CD and listen to it over and over because there is so much there to learn and apply to my life. You are finishing well Rachel! But to say finishing right now sounds so final and it is not final, or done but soon to be “just beginnig.” No matter what may come our way in this life, whether it be struggles, conflict, disease, or even death, none of this can take the part of us that will live forever. To think of Heaven and all we have to look forward to is just too much to comprehend. Spending eternity with our Savior is too great to put in to words. The same loving arms that have held you up and comforts you and your family will be embracing you and myself when we meet Him in Heaven! What a God! He has rescued us from Hell, blessed us here on earth and given us Heaven for eternity! Thank you for sharing Rachel. God Bless you. I will be praying for you and your family and though I never knew you here on earth I will spend eternity with you in Heaven in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! Psalm 36:7 How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore, the children of men put their trust under the shadows of Your wings.

  232. Hi Rachel!

    You don’t know me but I have just read your “Deathisnotdying”! website having been recommended to do so by Janis Viren of EquipNepal. I am an Englishman, married to a lovely wife Betty for over 49 years, am a grand-dad to 5 grand-children, am over 71 years old – but, still working full-time for the Lord and preaching the Word around the world. I was deeply moved by your thoughts as you shared with us your situation. Be assured of our prayers. My own daughter, Naomi aged 45, went to be with the Lord last December after her own personal battle with cancer. She was our eldest daughter, a great speaker, song writer and leader of worship. She was a great wife to Terry, mother to 3 boys (Jonathan 20, Gareth 18 and Jason 15), and a daughter to be proud of. She had great faith and trusted the Lord in every circumstance. At her funeral the congregation sponateously rose to their feet and gave her a standing ovation – something I had never before experienced. It was an expression of such love and respect for one who had touched so many lives by her testimony and ministry. I couldn’t help but think, “If this is the “send-off” she’s being given down here – what kind of reception is she receiving in heaven!” A quite overwhelming thought! I doubt anyone will clap hands at my funeral – maybe a few :-) – but I am sure of one thing, a great reception awaits for me, and all of us in Christ, when that day eventually comes! God bless you Rachel and all of your family. Thank you for allowing me to share these brief moments with you. Your friend in Christ, Phil.
    Philip B South, President, World Action Ministries – UK.

  233. Thank you,Lord, for this precious child of Yours. Please keep her and her family in the palm of Your hand.

  234. Rachel,
    I heard your testimony on Revive Our Hearts yesterday and today. I wasn’t sure what I could really add to what others have said here.

    My dad passed away of primary liver cancer at age 63 in August…he did not know Christ, and as far as we know, did not receive Him before he died. Knowing I will likely never see him again has crushed me beyond words. But hearing you talking so courageously about death and your process of dying has helped me…a new level of grief I suppose. It’s helped me understand my dad more, and know more intimately what he endured.

    It might seem like a small thing to say, but moving through the grief of losing my dad (especially since he didn’t know Christ) has been very difficult for me and has created a wall between me and God. So anything that anyone can say to help me move beyond that, I will take. Thank you.

    I pray that you will know Christ in a new and fresh way today. Your sister, Lisa

  235. I have watched the video twice. God has used this to show me and help me make some changes in my life. I thank you so much for your suffering, for it has brought me closer to Jesus. It has helped clairify so many things that I need to be made clear. I pray that you will find strength and unexplainable peace. I look forward to the day when I will meet you in heaven and thank you face to face.

  236. Rachel, thank you for sharing your heart. Your words and wisdom have encouraged me to remember whose I am. May God comfort you right now.

  237. I pray that the Lord will ease your pain and continue to hold you in the palm of His hand. Praying also for your family and loved ones. Thank you for your testimony.

  238. My dear sister in the Lord,Rachel…

    Your testimony touched SO MANY people’s life!!! What a great mission you had in bringing glory to God here on earth! You are a vessel used for His glory and God delights in you now….what a beautiful closure of your life!….being able to shine a glimpse of His beauty over so many of us. Thank you!
    Your husband and children will be more beautiful for the rest of their life because of you. I love you….

  239. Hi Rachel (with the Biblical spelling :) )

    I’ve been praying for you ever since I saw your talk a few months ago. Your post today reminded me of the season I spent with my elderly spiritual father as he waited, for far longer than he had been promised, for cancer to take him home to Jesus. He had a To Do list also! God gave him everything on it, and I’m praying He does the same for you. You ARE finishing well. Don’t give up, sister. There are family all over the world praying for you and your family, and looking forward to the day when we all are together with Jesus in Heaven.

  240. Rachel – your life, your testimony, your journey of pain, suffering and faith are tropihies of God’s amazing grace… You have touched my life in ways that I can’t even explain, but that with eternal impact. Now, suffering really makes sense. Someday when I get to heaven, finding you and thanking you will be one of my to do list…

    What a legacy you’re leaving! What a glorious way of seeing death…What a beautiful way of ending this temporal life and entering an everlasting life!

    Rachel- you are like a butterfly soon to come out from the cocoon of life and F-L-Y with the angels and worshipping God in the beauty of His holiness!!!

    I’ll pray for you and your husband and children.

    Blest, doubly blest,

    Jessica from Miami Florida

  241. You are truely an inspiration to us all. What strong faith yu have and have shared with the world. You have opened your heart to us all. God Bless you! and God Bless your husband and children. May the Lord be with you!

    Rhonda from Florida

  242. You HAVE finished well, sweet sister. Just look at all the lives the Lord has touched through you. You have glorified your Father and will soon hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” May the rest of us be so faithful. You have finished strong. Rest in that, beloved friend. Praying in Texas.

  243. My godly pastor’s mother died, and as she was dying, she said, “Oh, the glory, oh, the glory! It was worth it all.”

    Another friend, dying of lung cancer, Eleanor, said she thought the Lord was asking her to show others how to live, but then she later concluded that perhaps, she was being asked to show others how to die. She memorized all the praises in Revelation because she wanted to be ready for heaven.

    I must confess I’m a little envious of you who get to go be with our Lord.

  244. Rachel,
    Thank you so much for your testimony. We have quite a lot in common. I too am an obsessive list maker/organizer. (I think it gives me some sense of control) I guess that can be both good and bad.
    I also struggle not to get into the faces of people in public service who have nasty attitudes. As I thought about this, I reflected on my often poor attitude in my position as servant.
    Had we ever met here, I believe we’d have been good friends. But I know we’ll meet in heaven. Maybe we’ll be in some kind of management position together :)
    We need to be reminded each day that we are all dying — to number our days — and to live accordingly.
    I thank you and I thank God for your message.
    Praise Him for rescuing us from this body of death!
    In His love,
    Jamie in VA

  245. Hey, Cousin.

    I love you. I thought that in light of your struggle to share, you might enjoy hearing about my experience this past weekend. I wrote about it on my website at:

    http://barkingreed.blogspot.com/2009/06/how-i-found-god-at-bottom-of-someone.html ,

    so I won’t take up too much comment space on your site.

    Love and Prayers,
    Josh

  246. Oh Rachel, your message, Death is Not Dying, captivated me through to the end. I thought about God’s grace on your life just to be able to share all that was on your heart. All christians need to hear your message, to help us better get on track with what really matters. Knowing God, Knowing Yourself, Knowing the Gospel and Knowing Your Purpose. I tried to take notes but most of the time all I could do was listen. Part of my heart hurts for you, the part of those you love and will be leaving behind, and for your physical pain and suffering. The other part of my heart knows that you get it and and praises God that He has given you a platform to share it in a most audible way. He is turning ashes into beauty. You are living out I Peter 2:15 that you quoted in your message. You ARE finishing well. All who listen to this message and come behind you will find you faithful. May God bless you and your precious family for years to come because of your obedience to voice what you’ve learn in your heart-”Death is not Dying”. Patty

  247. Your testimony that I listened to today was an answer to prayer for me. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Today, I was riding in the car and wondering why I was in a spiritual funk, why I was stuck down in the briars again and feeling miles apart from Jesus, then I listened to you, and He put it into perspective for me through you. I pray for your pain, that you will be able to endure what you are going through until you meet with our Lord. I pray for your family, and the pain they are going through and will go through when you are in Heaven. Your husband and children are very blessed to have you as a wife and mother. May Jesus keep you and comfort you until you have reached your final place.

  248. Hi Rachel,

    I recently listened to your testimony and I’m in aww. I’m as well very touched, encouraged and will keep you and your family in my prayers. I can’t forget what you said about if your struggles and suffering bring someone closer to God than it is an honor. I’ve been thinking about that and thinking about that and applying it to my own life and how my struggles and pains could be a testimony to others in how I react to it. It convicted me also. I don’t know exactly what to say but I was so stouched by all you shared and one day God knows when, you will be dancing with Jesus at peace and filled to the brim with Joy and you will be with your family once again. My mother died of cancer and I can’t wait to see her in heaven. I just wanted to share that and say thank you so much for sharing your testimony! God bless you and your family!

  249. Dear Rachel,
    Thank you for letting the Lord use your life to bring glory to Him. Soon the day will come for all of us when we will see Him face to face…you truly have been a “good and faithful servant”.
    My heart aches for you and your family, yet your words are so true. Your words are from a heart that is close to the Lord, filled with His grace and peace, and full of the understanding of things that only come through great trials.
    My husband and I have 12 children. Last year, the doctors told my husband he had cancer and less than a year to live. God healed him.
    Right now, our 3 month old little boy is in the hospital and we are not sure if/when we will bring him home. We know God is good and everything that comes into our lives is allowed by His loving hand.
    When doubts, fears, and discouragement come, in faith, I cry out to Him and fill my mind with the truth from His Word…and oh the peace He gives.
    I will be praying for you and your family. I can’t imagine all you are going through, but your words touched my heart from so many similiar things the Lord’s taught me myself.
    Keep clinging to Jesus.
    love,
    Jaynee

  250. Rachel, After reading your note for June 1, I opened up God’s Word to Isaiah 49:23b – For they shall not be ashamed who wait for Me. Know there are thousands of brothers and sisters praying for you and your family. Thank you for showing us how to remain “in Him” till He calls you HOME.

  251. Rachel Isaiah 49:23b reads For they shall not be ashamed who wait for Me. Please know there are thousands of people around the world praying for you. Blessings and love to you and your family.

  252. Rachel,
    On Tuesday our Life Group watched your testimony as our ‘teaching’ portion of the night. It was my second time watching this powerful word you have given from your heart and touched me even more the second time hearing it.
    One of our special group members shared something that was kind of interesting . . .
    “I wonder if she knew the message that she was sharing” With a little bit of explanation and great determination that he was not joking or poking fun, he continued . . . In the beginning of your testimony, the date comes across the screen: March 4,2009. Only he read it as “MARCH FORTH!” You know, it is amazing how God takes care of every detail when we do things in His timing and His way! So along with all the things we are to know, and regardless of our circumstances – by your own life testimony – “MARCH FORTH!”
    May you cross the finish line with cheering in your ears – from this world and all who love you to the cheering of the saints and angels; into the arms of the One who you are running the race for!

  253. Hi Rachel,
    You know until I watched your presentation, I was in a world of no hope and no future. In the last year, I have gone through numerous problems. I have always wanted children and in the last year, I miscarried twice. The doctor’s do not know why and I just felt hopeless and angry with God. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be, but the hurt inside was eating away at me. My sister showed me this presentation and I am so grateful that you spoke about your experience. I now know I must know God, know his word, and know myself. I was so blessed to listen to how God cares for you and your family. You are blessed with two beautiful children and a loving husband. You are BLESSED with a loving Savior that gave his son so that we could have eternal life with him. I am so grateful for you darling Rachel. I pray that your presentation will touch many more to come. I know I have passed it on to others that are hurting around me. It is now that I understand that God does not change, but we think he does when things do not go our way or the way we want them to go. I am just grateful that God has been very patient with me and working in my heart. He has sent me a loving husband that I can’t live without. As for kids…I pray and trust that God will provide in his time. God has a plan for each of us and our duty is to follow what he wants. I know it will be a long, hard path, but I prayed yesterday for God to give me strength, wisdom, obedience to him and only him in good times and in bad times. GOD bless you darling and everyone that hears your presentation. Your kids will be so proud of you. God has a special purpose for you and I am grateful and blessed to have heard you. Thank you so much for being an encouragement for me. May our God be praised forever.

  254. Rachel…You are loving your family well right now…The heritage you are giving to them will impact them for the rest of their lives! Thank you for impacting mine as well!

  255. Hi Rachel,
    My prayer for you today is the simple lyrics of an old song, “Guide me safely gently o’er…” May you be buoyed up with JOY and may Father’s presence be sweet…even through this time of suffering .

  256. I pray God blesses you more and more each day, Rachel. Your message is so beautiful, and I am touched and drawn closer to God by it. I will be praying for you.

  257. Rachel,
    A friend of mine posted your blog on her facebook, and it piqued my interest because I am a young mother of two and have battled cancer, Mom has breast cancer, and my sister has a rare form of terminal cancer. Reading your blog reminds me specifically of my sis because her cancer is in her liver and bones. The difference though, is that my sister does not know the Lord and though she has a following on the internet, she is not shining brightly for Him as a witness.

    You have been in my thoughts and prayers – Your latest post really hit home, because much of my prayers have been just begging God to help “so-and-so” die well, and then, Lord, please help me to endure until the end faithfully and be proven one of yours!

    Rachel, I know it is so hard to endure minute-to-minute when you feel the way you do – I pray the Lord would bless you with steadfastness. Your reward for that steadfastness will be great in Heaven!

    Praise God for a witness like you in this dark world!

  258. Dear Rachel

    I listened to your testimony, and have passed on your message of hope to so many others. God is truly using you to glorify Himself through your life and a rich reward awaits you as you trust in Him.
    We are praying for you

    Irene

  259. Wow sister Rachel,
    thank you so much for this update. I really cannot use words to describe how the LORD has used and is continuing to use your testimony and your faith in my life.

    Our LORD is good, all the time, even in the midst of the chaos and madness of this world. Our God is good, all the time.

    You are in my prayers
    if i could hug you i would

    all love,
    your sister in Christ half way across the world
    Anjelle
    xoxox

  260. Rachel- I watched your testimony and stood in awe at how brave you are in the face of such adversity. I love how you state that your relationship with Jesus is what defines you. I, like you, am a believer and know that the death we experience in this life is a physical one and it is not the end. I will say that I struggled a bit when you shared the return of your cancer because I know that God is a healer. More than anything I want you to continue to believe that even in the midst of these overwhelming circumstances you can still be healed. It isn’t a denial of what you are facing but the Faith, the hoping for what isn’t seen. I thank God, that cancer has no control over you and that it, like any other name, is subject to the of Jesus. I know that Jesus says that anything we ask He will do for us and I ask that in His name you believe that you can be healed and that you receive it. Be blessed.

  261. Dear Rachel,
    Your testimony is pure and beautiful; inspiring – most surely winning souls to Christ!! You moved me to tears and that’s not an easy feat. I pray for your blessed entry into the wonderful, mighty hands of God – may your entry into the next life be a beautiful journey. My prayers are with you and your family. I am grateful to God for you and your honesty and beauty! May you be eternally blessed.
    Love & thank you, Janet

  262. Your ministry to the Bride of Christ during this time in your life is wonderful. Although I am not God in my eyes and in other’s eyes we see you finishing well. You are pressing on toward’s the high calling in Christ. Although we are sisters in Christ and have never met your story has impacted me. I will always remember this and pray that I could attempt to finish so well. Thank you for displaying the gospel so purposefully and lovely. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  263. i’ve just watched the video of your testimony and read some of your updates. i want to thank you for sharing your experience with so many, allowing strangers like myself into your very intimate world of dying. i want to thank you, as a nurse as well. i frequently take care of people (often women) who are newly diagnosed with their previous cancer spreading to their brain. the doctor gives them the news, but is me who is there with them for the rest of the day or the rest of the night. this has given me insight, and i will recommend it to my patients to watch.
    thank you again.

  264. Dear Rachel,
    Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are an encouragment to Christians everywhere. It is easy to bless and praise God during the easy parts of life, not so when life gets messy (as it often does). This year has been a very challenging year for us as we have found out that our adopted son is much sicker than we realized. Your story encourages me to continue to praise and trust the Lord through it all! God Bless you. I am praying for you and your family during this difficult time. With Christ’s Love, Tracy

  265. Dear Rachel,
    “Without faith it is impossible to please God”. Waiting is trusting and God is pleased with a heart that rests in Him. I think much of our activity for Him is just activity and you are learning and modeling something powerful. To know your purpose, to embrace it and to leave a tangible work for others to continue it what we are all striving to do. Striving to be at a place of rest. You have done well sister. God has done it through you and we are changed by what your life is teaching.

  266. Rachel,

    Thank you for sharing your story and your faith for it is by sharing our faith that we will come to know every good thing that is in Christ Jesus. I love your sense of humor, knowing that since we are made in His image our Lord also has one and we will spend much time in glory together laughing. I am praying for you and your family – for deliverance, for courage and for grace.

  267. May your children be carried all the days of their lives by the hands and heart of the same God who adores you. May they know that even when life is too tough to bear, they will never be forgotten or forsaken by Him. May the number of lives you have touched not outnumber the people that God sends to your children to encourage them all the days of their lives.

  268. rb-Last week i was moved to tune in Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s program which is where i was introduced to you and your story. During the school year i get to listen to Nancy most days as it is the time i spend preparing for the day- so i listen to her while i get ready. I am so glad i listened to that voice prompting me to tune in the program. Now that it is summer my routine is a different. Since that time you have been in my thoughts, in my head and in my heart. (you keeping popping up) and i”ve been wrapping and lifting you in prayer ever since. Just yesterday i asked the Lord if there was any way i could help shoulder the things that burden you- like the pain for example I don’t know what that looks like or what that means but during the days since tuning in, i find myself saying things in my head and heart like – Father, i share the light that lives in me because of you with Rachel. Father,give me her burdens and pain to lighten her load. Instead of praying use me Father i pray, make me usable. This prayer frightens me sometimes. So in the days ahead i lift you, wrap you and love you through prayer Rachel, if there is any other way i could help, i would. Teach me everything i need to know through this painful experience.. hugs Rachel! Wishing you a de da day dear ! ( from John Ortberg’s book The Life You’ve Always Wanted)

  269. I will begin praying for you every day. My sister-in-law, Becky, just had surgery for colon cancer/Stage 4 and a friend of mine died last year from ovarian cancer. So I long to be more intune with the needs of those battling with cancer, the families, and survivors. Thank you for your positive testimony–I pray the Lord will encourage you everyday, especially when you don’t find the strength within yourself. Your a blessing to so many–everything from your video, to your book references.

    Thank you, Linda

  270. Lovely sister in Christ,
    I am praying and will keep on praying hard and without ceasing for God to slap that miracle on you. In second in a mere millisecond I am praying that he will just heal you. By His stripes we are healed. Are being the major word that always jumps out at me, not could be, not should be, but ARE!!!!! Luke 18:1-7 asking over and over and over again for your miracle.
    I will not lose faith in anyway shape or form if He should choose to take you home,I know it is your reward given early. As Ecclesiates says in 7:1 A good name is better than a good ointment, And the day of one’s death is better than the day of one’s birth. Then of course there is Isaiah 57:1,2) 1 The righteous perish,
    and no one ponders it in his heart;
    devout men are taken away,
    and no one understands
    that the righteous are taken away
    to be spared from evil.

    2 Those who walk uprightly
    enter into peace;
    they find rest as they lie in death.
    In The word is found everything we need when we need it. I cannot wait to meet you one day dear Rachel,either here or in eternity. You are such a wonderful witness.
    Love to you and yours in Christ Jesus, Tammy

  271. Rachel,
    When I look over some of these comments it’s so very obvious that Christ is using you for his glory. We’ve never met, but you can add “A neurologist in South Carolina” to the long list of people that have been impacted by your story. God bless you.
    Paul

  272. Your testimony has encouraged me to look heavenward and seek an eternal perspective, which is often difficult in this world, given my sinful, deceiving heart. It was shared with our entire congregation this evening, and hundeds more were again blessed by your Christ exalting, God honoring words. As a young wife and mother, I am convicted to serve my family with joy and diligence, and faithfully walk in obedience with each breath God has graciously bestowed.
    You and your precious family are in my prayers. Thank you for the living proof that God is gracious in all things, as is written in His Word.
    Your sister, Amber

  273. You web-site “death is not dying” perfectly fits. Praying and spending time in God’s Word, are perfect ways of getting to know him. Special attention to the conversions in Acts and the baptisms for salvation are so faith building. It shows me that the Word is living and powerful. Changing the lives of men and women everywhere. Thank you for Living and Sharing your life.

  274. Rachel,
    Your story is so moving and such a testimony to all of us mere mortals. May your husband and children be lifted up by your words over and over again. May God continue to work through your story to help others gain a faith as strong as yours. It rocks me to the core to hear your words of hope and faith spoken so freely. Yes, we are indeed sinners, but in order for God to work in us, we must acknowledge our sins before Him. God bless you and your loving family always.

    Love in Christ,
    Mame

  275. Rachel,

    My sister found out in March 2009 that she has ovarian cancer. She did have a full hystoectomy on April 16, 2009. My sister, Michelle, passed away May 8, 2009.

    When I returned to work the following Wednesday, I was given an e-mail with the link to this website. It is amazing.

    During Michelle’s struggle with cancer, she said that she saw the angels and there was a huge crowd waiting for her. This was a great comfort. Michelle would raise her hands and praise God to the end. She was even asked by her husband if she saw Jesus, but she told him she couldn’t see Him…He was too far in the back, but she knew he was there.

    She also stated the angels looked just like the ones described in the 90 MINUTES IN HEAVEN book.

    Rachel, we are all dying each day. Some of us are just told about our death sooner than others. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow, but you and Michelle are blessed because you are giving God all the glory. Bless you, our earthly Angel.

  276. Dear Rachel,
    as a wife, mother of 2 children and a pastor I was so touched by your testimony. Now I’m more determined to keep my eyes on Jesus and continue living for Him to the fullest.
    Your reward must be great in heaven and your obedience to God is an inspiration to countless others.

  277. Dear Rachel, here I am in the Middle East, at the “ends of the earth”, challenged and blessed by your testimony to our Awesome God. Two weeks ago we lost co-workers who were martyred. How well you put it: “death is not dying!” (Still missing from the same kidnapping is a family of five with children ages 1,3,4. My own children are 3,4,7) As we are in a remote area, we listened to a John Piper CD for our sermon this morning (about the Pure in Heart) and this evening, your message. Dear sister, you will see God! May our loving God hold you as you finish this life well. You have encouraged me in purity of heart – single-mindedness.

  278. I’ve been thinking about your comment of “finishing well.” What a challenge. Some know when they’re going to “finish”, many are caught by surprise, but most of us, more or less, deny that there’s an end at all, a ‘finishing point.’ I am blessed so much by your longing to finish well–be assured that the Lord is pleased too. He rejoices over you with singing, and dances for joy, and tells the angels, “look at my daughter!” He’s pleased, and He will grant you the desire of your heart–to finish well.

    I only wish there was no finishing point–for you, or anyone. I suppose that’s why we have the hope of heaven. A reminder that this corruptible must put on incorruption.

    I’ve blabbed on–forgive me. I’m just so amazed and grateful for you, your testimony, your sharing–of hardships, pain, trials, and difficulties, all the while holding onto the Rock–our Lord, our only sure footing in the swirling currents of life.
    Thank you again and again.

  279. Oh Rachel,

    So glad you share. So glad you take the time to let us into your world. I need your perspective right now. As I sometimes wish the days were shorter until I enter His presence, I want to embrace all that He has for me in them.

    Thank you for sharing these gifts of wisdom with us.

  280. Rachel,
    Thank you for reminding me that God is Holy and demands that we treat him Holy~~~~~which you have done by elevating him to his rightful place!! Thank you for your testimony which I have passed on to many people including my unsaved father~~~~~who is very hard to reach. I pray and pray and pray that this helps to show him that truly saved people (not hypocrites) know that God is it~~~~~~~He is the only one and the only way!!!! I pray for comfort for your family and for you in your fight!! Again Rachel, thank you!!!!

  281. Rachel!

    You are m hero! God keeps allowing me to see such great women of faith walk out what He has planned for them.
    I have 5 daughters. My youngest daughter Kelly is 20. She is a nursing student going into her 3rd year.
    She always tells me that if God takes her at a young age she is ready to go. She goes on to say that she can’t remember a time where she didn’t believe Christ died for her and her home awaits her. When my father in law went to be with the Lord, she said to us, “I believe that we never die, we close our eyes to this world and open them to heaven! God will comfort you as you wait to meet him face to face! I love the verse that says “Absent from the body, present with the Lord! II Corinthians 5:6-8
    For you are bought with a price: therefore glorify god in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

    ….Ah how you do this so well!
    I am confident you will here here these words!

    His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’Matthew 25:21-22

    Praying for you and your family!
    TK

  282. Rachel,

    Your faith is beautiful — it goes well with the rest of you and your family too — SO BEAUTIFUL! I thank God for your commitment to Him and for your testimony.

    I am so very frustrated right now. I lived a life of being sick and I was so very convicted that healing was FOR US! I have struggled so much over the lack of healing among God’s people. I truly feel that it is FOR US and that when we do not receive the good gifts that God has for us, it is NOT His unwillingness to bless.

    I just listened to a lesson on Ezekial 37 — speaking to the dry bones. God asked, “Will these bones live?” God then told EZEKIAL to speak to the bones — not to pray, “Lord, if it be your will.” I know God leaves a lot up to us. I suppose that your conviction early on of your path was one of God speaking to your heart that this was it, unlike that of my conviction, that healing was something He had FOR US. I struggle with this. I want to speak to YOUR BONES . . . “LIVE!” I know, though, my words will NOT override yours.

    I am touched by your life. I am glad you are my sister. I wish I was your naturopath and that we had met earlier in your life.

    God bless you with the desires of your heart. I know He loves you. I see your delight in Him.

    Love from your sister,
    Carolyn

  283. You and your story have both completely captivated my heart. I have been wanting to tell you something, but in all honesty, am afraid it would come out wrong. Still, I want to tell you, so I am going to try, and I am going to ask for forgiveness if it doesn’t come out the right way. I want you to know that a few days after I heard your story (June 15, 2009), my 7 year old son and I went to the store. He wanted to pick a toy and I didn’t rush him at all. I watched his swarm of curls bounce as I followed behind him, letting him check out every toy. Also, the other day, Darby (my 9 year old girl) wanted to play with her bathtime Polly Pocket toys, but they were in the garage. I first told her no because I was busy. I then thought of your beautiful and perfect words in your talk, and I was up and in the garage in less than 10 seconds, rummaging through a big black bag looking for Darby’s Polly dolls. I am telling you this because you spoke to my heart regarding my own “me, me me” mentality. I want you to know that I love you as if you were my closest friend, or even sister, and that I have been stopping my own activities ‘almost’ (I’m still not perfect!) every time my children need me. Your words at that talk were so VERY powerful. I cannot begin to explain or describe what went on in my heart. I was driving to summer school (which I did not want to take but had to, and now know WHY I had to go) with both hands on the wheel because I couldn’t control my sobbing and huge realizations as you spoke. I renewed my walk with God that day in a HUGE and cleansing way. If it weren’t for your words, I would still be living in my little ‘me’ cocoon – I’m certain of it. Now, I pray to God every day, asking Him to show me the real Him, and not someone I or anyone else makes Him out to be. You kept saying “Know God. Know God.” Gosh I could go on and on about what you have done. I’ve already written some of this to you on facebook and I’ve written to your website asking how you are. I don’t wish to be a burden and after this posting, will not write as much. BUT it is important to my heart to tell you what your astonishing, and yes I mean ASTONISHING courage has done. I want you to be healed SO SO badly, and I pray for that every single time you come into my mind or heart, which is very often. I feel odd saying thank you, but your words have transformed my entire soul. Really. Thank you from a mom who was dwindling. May God richly bless you and may He heal you of any pain or discomfort, and may you be showered with HUGE peace. In Christ’s Love, -Donna Lynn

  284. Dear Rachel,

    Our church where your uncle attends in Sault Ste. Marie (Bethel Bible Chapel) sat silently as we listened to and watched your testimony on large screens yesterday morning. There was not a dry eye in the room, but more importantly, not a life that was not changed for the better. It puzzles me and deeply saddens me and fills me with such tremendous guilt that it would take your death to get the message of Jesus through my hard heart… I have been a Christian since I was a little girl, but to hear you speak reminds me of what it means to live for Christ. I will share this message of hope, and I will pray with diligence that through your words all those who hear will be touched, will be broken down and will understand the TRUTH. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have posted your speech on my facebook and already it has been seen by several people who would have been unlikely to see it otherwise.

    With much love and gratitude,

    Emily

  285. Dear Rachel,

    The testimony of Christ in you is having a profound impact among many family members and friends. Many are questioning the reality and sincerity of their relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. This honest inward reflection is resulting in genuine repentance before God for His exclusive glory.

    The feigned outward religion is being replaced by a demonstrated desire to walk with God in Spirit and in Truth. It is not enough to look upon the tree on which the Savior hung. The need is to GET ON THE TREE which our Lord hung (what a different perspective!). And the question becomes as profound as Nicodemus’ in John 3 when Jesus tells him that “you MUST be born again!” Nicodemus is perplexed. After all how can a man be born again after he has already been born?

    But Jesus told us in Mark 8:34 “Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” A.W. Tozer commented, “the one thing you knew about someone carrying a cross out of Jerusalem was – they weren’t coming back!” The question becomes: if we do choose to take up our cross, where are we going? And the answer is clear: to die at Calvary with Christ. And the even better news is: that the OLD ME isn’t coming back either! That nature has been nailed with Christ in death.

    Galatians 2:20 says, “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” This is IMPOSSIBLE for the carnal lost man to understand.

    I’ve read a few of the entries of well-meaning individuals who think that if they give into the whims of their children and deny themselves they will have met the call of God in their lives. Some are thinking they need to be “joyful” as 20th/21st century Christianity defines it which is something akin to being happy (“a whistle while you work attitude!”). But true Christian joy can exist in tears of pain and suffering for Christ; quiet reflection in deep prayer; witnessing the truth of a Savior while being mocked and scorned.

    The world will not understand that. But we true believers realize that while we are in this world, we do not belong to it. We are looking towards a heavenly home longing for our Master, the Lord Jesus Christ. I right this as an international professional network engineer who gives 100% of myself in the work I do – not for the company which pays me, but for the glory of the One who saved me and whom I serve as His willing slave. For He has set me free from the law of sin and of death.

    “For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.” 1 Cor.2:2 It is all I want to know, all I long to know, all I live for.

    “That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death” Phil.3:10 So many are missing the clarity of the message if they make the focus you. We live exclusively for the glory of God and it is Jesus Christ who is the fullness of that expression. There is NO way the Lord could get glory out of human flesh, so He sent the Lamb of God – sinless, perfect, without blemish who demonstrated His glory in an earthen vessel.

    And how did we receive Him? We rejected Him, mocked Him, reviled Him, struck Him, spat upon Him, whipped Him, crowned Him with thorns, and nailed Him to that tree. If we don’t identify with the ugliness, the horror, the depravity of what He became for our sake (because that is EXACTLY what we are and He showed what we deserve) on the cross, we can NEVER experience the power of His resurrection and all the glory that comes with it.

    So I thank you my sister and fellow bond servant for Christ, we know and pray that the Lord will bless you, your family, and all who love Him and rejoice at His coming. May our God of peace strengthen you and continue to give you courage beyond measure. For we are either dead IN Christ or dead IN our sins. This is a simple proposition and it is one or the other. Have we been bought by the Savior with His blood or have we sold out to compromise for the furtherance of self.

    As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Not 20% or 50% or 75%. I know of no pregnant women who are a “little” pregnant. Either you are or you aren’t. Either you belong to Christ or you don’t. Count the cost friends. Jesus said in Matthew 7:21-23 that He would reject many in that day, “And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.”

    It isn’t a question of do YOU know Christ but does Christ KNOW you.

    Thank you Rachel. I have a Rachel too. I pray with tears that one day she too would walk the way of the cross. Not because her Daddy on earth wants her to (and I do with all of my being), but because she hears the call of her heavenly Father and wants to of her own volition.

    In the faith that saves,
    your brother – ken

  286. Thank you for being brave during this, for being open during this personal time. Thank you for being faithful to God and preaching The Good News during this time. You *are* finishing well.
    In Christ, Alane

  287. Hello Rachel

    I caught your testimony from Revive Our Hearts online.
    Your words, boldness and strength require that I look deep into my own life. The challenge is “Do you know Him?”
    I’ve never left a comment online before. Yet, I wanted you to know that instead of snapping back at my son, I am reminded of your testimony and time is too short to give it away to anger..

    You have planted deep seeds in my spirit. I am a Christian and a single mother of one child. I, too, am praying for your healing and for your family, doctors and all health workers who come in contact with you.

    You have done well. May He continue to keep you.

    ~~Nokwe-Asi

  288. Dearest Rachel, I have cried reading your posts. Since you haven’t posted for awhile, I don’t know if you are still dying or living fully in His presence now. I have non-hopkins lymphoma. I had chemo one and a half years ago and was suppose to be in remission for 7-9 years. This past Feb, I relapsed. I had Rituxin in May and will go this month for a CT/PT to see if it is working, but I have a lump showing up on my other side of my neck. I have been crying all week because it seems as if things aren’t working. Oh, what I have is not curable, only treatable. I am so relating to you and thank you for being so transparent and vulnerable. It is hard, not because I am mad at God for this, but I have 3 daughters, one married with 3 kids, one getting married in Nov. and one still single. I get sad about all I could miss out on. I feel guilty for being sad, because we are suppose to have joy in the Lord. I feel desperately alone at times. But you are an encouragement to me on how to die while living . Hope to see you someday in heaven and we can talk about the beauty of the Lord and he will wipe away our tears. God bless your family .

  289. Thank you for using the precious time God has given you to bless people you don’t even know!

    Your words are humbling and thought provoking.

    With Love and prayer!
    Mel (a sister in Christ!)

  290. Rachel,

    If you need reassurance that God is being glorified through your faith, then all of the comments are proof. God is using you to change lives and save souls for eternity.
    I pray for you and your family’s continued strength, faith, peace and hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. You have showed me true faith and I thank you for that.

  291. Rachel,

    I have shared the link to your talk with those I am seeking to reach with the gospel. I could share your same truths, but coming from you in the circumstances that you are in is something I pray the Spirit uses mightily.

    God gave you the grace, strength and courage to speak vital truths and now He is touching thousands of those who will never be privileged to meet you this side of heaven, but eternity will show the impact you have made.

    All Glory to God!

  292. Hello Rachel,

    My name is Terri an I just watched your video. My sister sent this to me and I almost didn’t watch it but I am glad I did. She sends me things, I know to encourage me. I don’t want to make this about me, but I do want to give a brief history of why she does this. In Jan of 2006 my 2 daughters went to be with the lord due to a car accident they were 18 and 23. This was one of the hardest days of my life, and then in feb of 2008 my mother became ill and she had heart surgery , to make a long story short, when she seemed to be getting worse the doctors sent her to Emory in atlanta and we found out she had a rare disease called Amyloidosis and that she also had multiple myeloma. This was a total shock for the family, then she went to be with the lord on June 15 of 2008. She only lived 4 months after we found out she was sick,she was 67 and loved the lord with all her heart.
    I am saying all this to let you know how much I appreciate your witness, I know that this is what the word is saying in Rev: 12:11, It’s the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony that we overcome. I believe your testimony will help a lot of people to understand what it means to truly put our faith in God and not let our circumstances guide our ways.
    I pray that you and your family will continue to be blessed and to be a blessing to others while you go through this time. God is faithful to keep his promises, he never leaves us and i have witnessed this in my own trials.
    God Bless you
    Terri

  293. Rachel, Thank you for your testimony. You are gifted with His Spirit to share the gospel of Christ with millions.
    May God bless you. And I can’t wait to meet you in Heaven.
    I will be praying for your family and for you as well, for you to continue to suffer well.
    DOTK

  294. Concerning whether or not you will finish well, know that the Lord has already used you to be a blessing to so many…keep pressing toward the “goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ” Phil 3:14 and remember that we do have a great High Priest who has also tasted death and who is presently ready to dispense “grace to help us in our time of need” Hebrews 4:16.

  295. “Well done, good and faithful servant!”…the words I know Rachel heard yesterday morning as she left this earth to be with her loving Saviour. Our prayers are with all who mourn. Rachel has left her family, we her friends, and those who never met her, an inspiring legacy to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. I still struggle to wrap my brain around the fact that our time here is so fleeting and the life we should be anticipating is the one we’ll spend in eternity – so I look forward to the life with no more pain and tears!

  296. Heaven is rejoicing in Rachel’s presence. What a very special gift – her life, her faith, her testimony, her courage, her love… such a precious reflection of the love of God through his gift to us – Jesus.

  297. Yes, our dear sister Rachel graduated into the presence of God in heaven on Thursday, July 2nd.

    May the God of all Comfort continue to make His presence known and felt by Neil, Quinn and Kate, and the Sawer and Barkey families. We have all been enriched by knowing Rachel, whether in person or through the Internet. Thank You, Lord, for Rachel’s testimony of Your Love, Grace and Strength. I know that You took great delight in greeting her with, “Well done, my good and faithful servant!” Well done, Rachel! You did indeed finish well! Praise the Lord!

  298. I just heard the news from Neil. My thoughts and prayers are with him and the children, and Rachel’s parents and brother.

    I have many fond memories of Rachel from our teen years in Chilliwack, and from when she worked with the BC Liberals and Gordon Campbell when we were still on the Opposition side of the BC Legislature. I know Gord thought highly of her.

    Rachel is now in heaven with my friends Dan Janzen and Clayton Friesen. I’m sure they provided her with a warm welcome – what a crew! Heaven will never be the same.

    Thanks Rachel for sharing your time with us.

  299. I have never met Rachel or her family and only know her through her testimony.
    My prayers to go out to Rachel’s family at this time of sorrow. I had just heard her testimony which I wish all the world could hear, when just a few days later the Lord took Rachel home to Glory. May the family take peace in knowing Rachel is at rest with the Lord and has left behing a wonderful legacy of her journey and words for others to share and take strength from. Thank you Lord for bringing Rachel into so many lives .

  300. I wrote this as I just found out about Rachel’s home-going. Neil, Quinn, and Kate – May God be your strength, your joy and your hope even in this dark hour. Know that sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.
    Soli Deo Gloria!!

     

    Finally Home

     

    Death is not dying,
    It’s the beginning of life.
    For we are just pilgrims
    Of that City of Light.

     

    We’re only sojourning
    Through this world filled with tears
    To show others our Master
    Until the day He appears.

     

    Whether by eastern sky parting
    Or giving up of life’s breath
    We shall arrive home safely
    and have victory o’er death

     

    So don’t despair, oh my soul
    If ones I love should go first
    For on glad reunion day
    I’ll in pure joy be immersed

     

    As we all gather together
    never ever more to roam
    We’ll worship at our Savior’s feet
    Forever, finally home

     

    Thank you so much Rachel for showing us a bit of the the Father’s glory.

  301. Rachel will live on through all the lives she has touched – I have been so inspired by her courage and faith as so many other have. There is no more waiting now and I’m sure you have found what you have been waiting for.

    So few people will ever reach so many people in such an amazing way. You will never be forgotten, we will always remember and be inspired by you. Thank you for sharing, you will be missed by so many.

  302. Celebrating Rachel’s entrance into the everlasting!

    Praying for you sweet loved ones that must stay behind.

    God bless you all!

  303. I was just given your link today. I sit in amazement. I see God’s works through you even though you are with HIM now. I pray for your family. That their grief is eased by the Lord’s hand of comfort. Thank you for taking the time ans sharing yourself with us.

  304. I recently heard Rachels message on Revive Our Hearts radio program. I cannot tell you how her message touched myself and my husband, who right now is fighting a deadly lung disease. We purchased a copy of the message and are passing it around. Everyone who hears it is amazed at her strength and faith in her God. He is using this message in a mighty way. We hope that her family is being comforted by knowing she is no longer suffering and that she is with her Father, waiting to one day be reunited with her loved ones. Praise God. Please consider a book about Rachels life and death. Her message needs to be heard by so many. I look forward to meeting her when I get there.

  305. Rachel,

    I just found your website from a carepage regarding another family. I read your last post and wanted to comment. You are looking to finish well and for things to do. I had a son who died from cancer at age six. How I wish we had videotaped him more but we were so busy just living life. The summer before he died when we had received news that the cancer had spread, I was going to have Elijah make videotape messages for all our family. But he had a great summer. I thought the treatment may be working and God was going to give us our miracle. Then, in September he crashed and never really recovered before he died. The opportunity was lost and I regret it. I cherish every picture. Every video… Every sound that reminds me of my wonderful son. Maybe you have already done it. But just in case, if you feel able, make a tape whether video or audio. Your children and husband will cherish them.

  306. My Uncle Ewald was 51. He was so loved by his family. He was such a blessing to our family. He was a person of whom alot of people could say, he is a man after God’s own heart. I know that he was also struggling to finish well, and though he suffered so much during the last few weeks of terminal cancer, I’m sure he heard “Well done good and faithful servant!” I just heard of Rachel on Revive our Hearts and went to this site to read her posts. Her struggle and victory were so similar to Uncle Ewalds…. they passed away the same day, July 2 and met in heaven. I am so thankful to Rachel for sharing and I will share her audio with my aunt. I’m sure it will be a blessing and comfort to her.
    My prayers are with you, Neal, Quinn and Kate. May God hold you and comfort you.
    Thank you, God, for leading me to the audio of Rachel’s life.
    For your Glory!

  307. i miss you

  308. Hey Rachel,

    Thanks for your testimony. Andrew Mark walked your road, you can read his path here: http://www.graceandrew.blogspot.com/

  309. Quinn, Kate, I’m sorry. I know how much cancer can hurt when it’s our very own mother. I’m another girl whose mom has cancer. It hurts so much. I love you.

  310. Quinn, Kate, I’m sorry. I know how much cancer can hurt when it’s our very own mother. I’m another girl whose mom has cancer. It hurts so much. I love you.;…

  311. I don’t know why I continue to come back here over two months after Rachel has died. I think seeing her face and remembering her words gives me a tangible reminder of how to live this life well…how to not waste it. Not to waste a day. Not to waste each day. and therefore, not to waste a life. What a sweet legacy…God only knows the ripple effect she has had…the ripple effect she will continue to have…eternally, without end. Quinn and Kate and Neil, I can only imagine the thousands of people joining together in prayer on your behalf.
    May you experience the abundance of His sustaining grace through the prayers of His saints.

  312. Rachel continues to minister and will continue to for a long time. I just heard her story today and read many of her posts. She inspires me to draw closer to our Father, thank you. May God continue to give her loved ones strength and courage as they face their tomorrows.

  313. Neil, Quinn and Katie: who are these people I continue to find placed upon my heart to pray for? that live half way around the globe and in a place where I have never been? who’s eyes I have never met with mine and yet mine weep for them?
    They are precious to Jesus; they have not been forgotten by Him;
    Cling to Him.

    With love your sister in Christ.
    Annabelle.
    Rachel mentioned lists – you are on mine. never to be taken off! God Bless x.

  314. God will make beauty out of our pain – He does and will. 13 years ago my sister died of breast cancer (at age 36) leaving a 3 and 6 year old behind, so similar to Rachel’s story….9 years later my other sister too succumbed to this awful disease at the age of 45 leaving two teenage children behind. It is never easy to understand WHY – we can’t wrap our minds around it, but God WILL make good out EVERY bad situation. At my sisters funeral the pastor compared our life to a chocolate cake. God was like the baker, our lives are the ingredients, and the “cake” was the “big picture”. When you are making a cake you need many ingredients; some taste great, but others don’t at all – in fact some ingredients are downright nasty. God takes it all, the delicious, the sour, the bitter, and the bad and together he creates a masterpiece, a delicious “cake”. We sometimes get stuck at the individual ingredients because we are only human and can’t see the “cake” at the end, BUT if we could…it WOULD be all worth it! It just would be! I know I am looking forward to “tasting” the “cake” one day…
    Thank you for creating this website with the ability to share with others. I found it incredibly uplifting to listen to, and one day look forward to meeting her!

  315. “It is good to wait patiently for the salvation of the Lord”. For He never fails, even in our darkest moments, He is always there.
    Thank You, Lord God of heaven and earth for the powerful testimony of Your daughter Rachel. You are a good and faithful God, and You never change. Through the ages, You are looking for men and women who will lay down their lives to reflect Your glory.
    I am challenged to look afresh to You once again in the middle of my trials, and to wait patiently for Your salvation, knowing that at the end of the ages, I will see Your beautiful face!
    Bless Neil, Quinn, Kate, Ben, Cathy, David and Andrea with Your peace. Continue to comfort them with Your love and the hope of being reunited with Rachel in Your courts of glory someday.
    Help me to continue to pray for them, as You have laid them on my heart. All the glory belongs to You, Righteous One.

  316. Neil, Quinn, Ben, Cathy, David, and Andrea,

    First and foremost, I am so sorry for your loss. Even though it has been a small bit of time, it never makes it any easier. It just seems like a blip on the radar, that Rachel should still be here.

    I wanted to share with you Rachel’s impact. I am not sure whether or not you had heard about how far God is using her testimony. Anyways, I am college student currently in a mini-mester doing an intense study on the book of James. Our professor let us out a whole half a day early (we are in class from 8 am – 5 pm for a week) with a sheet of paper with a bunch of questions on it and we were all stumped, but we got really excited, because he never shares something that isn’t really amazing and worth passing along to everyone. He told us to go home and watch this hour long testimony. He knew a lot of students were going through a lot of pain, so I believe He specifically made this “assignment” for our class. What an honor it was to do it too.

    My point in all of this is, Rachel’s testimony is not only reaching Canada, but it is reaching the states and the world. There are people who have heard her story before I ever had. It is amazing and incredible the work that God did through her and continues to do through you guys.

    Honestly, I don’t claim to be a theologian of the bible, I have very little God-given wisdom, but I have been called to share his word, and I know he will somehow use me. But what I do know is simple, it is not the trials we face but how we face them that counts. Rachel and your family faced it in faith. How awesome and inspiring.

    Meredith

  317. Rachel,
    I never met you but I love you as a sister in christ. Your testimony has forever changed me. The Lord started a work in me long ago and now through seeing this, I have grown in Him!! Thank you!

  318. Dear friends & family of Rachel,

    I had told my friend earlier today that I needed to watch a speech for my college speech class. She gave this website to me and told me to watch the video. Wow is all I can say. It really made me think about so much. My aunt died of ovarian cancer around 4 years ago. Rachel reminded me so much of my aunt. They were both so strong, true, and funny! :)

    I will pray for you and am excited to share this website with others.

    Thank you!

  319. To whoever may read this,
    I was lucky enough to see the video of Rachel, and cannot fully comprehend yet the profound energy and hope that she (through God) has given me. Right at a time when I needed confirmation, there was this beautiful woman, still giving encouragement from her seat in heaven. I am humbled and amazed to have shared in her story and wanted her family and friends to know that she still lives on. She is absolutely right!!! Death is not dying. She has made such an impact on me, that she is definitely still living.

  320. Clearly, Rachel’s testimony will continue to impact the world for years beyond her death. I am humbled and ashamed at how I’ve wasted my time on this earth — with my family and friends — by complaining, wasting my talents and not being a better testimony to those around me. I especially was touched by what she said about how many times she used to say no because saying yes would inconvenience her. That’s been so, so true of me. I think most of us do not realize the amazing gift that LIFE itself is. I am a changed person by watching Rachel’s video, as I’m sure many, many others are, as well.

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