During the bouts of cancer diagnosis and treatments, Rachel writes e-mails to keep her friends and family updated on her thoughts and spiritual walk.

Light and momentary

September 2, 2004

Today was an “I don’t want cancer day.”


Have had a couple of those lately. Not that the other days I do want cancer but, for some reason, I was especially fragile today. Nothing is normal and sometimes I just want normal.


My white blood cell count was up today – a whopping 3.8. Better than when I started this ickiness. So I got round two of the cherry Kool-aid and the two other drugs that make up The Bad Boy. They load you up on anti-nausea drugs right before you get chemo so you feel good for the first few hours but I can feel the nausea starting already. Here we go…2 down. 4 to go.


Also shaved the rest of my hair off today. A (wannabe) rock star no longer. Now I look like a (wannabe) marine – minus a lot of muscle and testosterone. Or, more accurately, a cancer patient.


“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
2. Cor. 4.16-18.


If cancer is “light and momentary” then I can’t wait to see what “eternal glory” looks like.


fragile but hanging in there for my share of eternal glory,

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