Letters

During the bouts of cancer diagnosis and treatments, Rachel writes e-mails to keep her friends and family updated on her thoughts and spiritual walk.

Hope

December 20, 2004

It’s over.

 

I don’t think it’s really hit me yet but tomorrow – the day I would have my next treatment – I will wake up with the biggest smile on my face knowing that I don’t have to set foot anywhere near the cancer clinic until the end of January. I have surgery scheduled for mid-January but it seems like nothing in comparison to the months of chemo.

 

I’ve got a Susan Powter look going now (remember her? the “stop the insanity!” chick?). I think it will be a bit awkward (read: ugly) while I grow my hair in as it’s half normal hair and half peach fuzz…or what I call “cancer hair.” My plan is to keep it really short until it’s all growing in normally and then start growing it out. I suspect there will be a couple of months when I’ve got a bad white chick afro look going on. Not sure how I’m going to deal with that – hopefully the weather will stay cool in the spring so I can keep my toque on and avoid scaring the neighbourhood children.

 

Funnily enough, I got a notice in the mail this week telling me that my driver’s license needs to be renewed in January. Of all the years to have to get a new driver’s license photo. Good grief. I told Neil not to be surprised if it gets lost (and I have to get a new one) when my hair is back to normal.

 

Trying to get back into the swing of things now that I’m feeling better again. My first day on my own with the kids in almost 6 months and Kate decided to put me to the test by dumping half a box of Cheerios on the floor and getting into my makeup bag. Mascara is very difficult to get out of an ear. Quinn, not to be outdone, managed to step in a pile of dog poo. Am definitely out of practice.

 

Looking back I can hardly believe that I made it through. Knowing that I endured 6 of those bad boys – it is still surreal. But hope is a powerful thing. The smallest amount of hope can help you endure so much. And my hope is abundant because of Christ.

 

So this Christmas will be special. There is a sense of appreciation and gratitude that, I think, is especially keen after tough times. I intend to cherish it. As He has cherished me through the past months.

 

May you feel cherished as well. He came for you. To give you hope.

 

Merry Christmas.

 

with much love,
rb

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